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#1
Nov 05, 2011, 07:29 PM
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Weird and kind of gross so you may want to stop reading. Whenever I see or feel any kind of bump or raised area on my face I attack it till I get whatever's in there out, even if it means picking it out with a a needle. Then I have a mark which stresses me out for days. It's compulsive. If it's there I have to zap it and the more that shoots out the better. I don't know wtf is wrong with me. I've done this since I was a child...incessent picking till at times there was left a hole. Some doc had a name for it but I don't care. I just want to stop and leave my face alone. I have scars from the past, not bad but still there. Any thoughts?
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#2
Nov 05, 2011, 07:53 PM
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Sounds more about anxiety then about self injury? (Like a compulsion).
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#3
Nov 05, 2011, 07:54 PM
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I do the same thing, and I think it is more a compulsion than straight up self injury, although since it does cause injury I guess it could technically be both. I know that for me, the intent isn't to injure myself, it's to self-soothe, but the result is an injury.
__________________
She left pieces of her life behind her everywhere she went.
"It's easier to feel the sunlight without them," she said. ~Brian Andreas |
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#4
Nov 07, 2011, 05:11 PM
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Thanks. It is a compulsion, not si...I cut and burned for a very long time and it eased up as I got older. Still I find subtle ways to sabatoge...I posted in this forum because I spend a lot of time here hoping I can offer encouragement and hope to those who still suffer because si feels like a horrible and shameful illness and we feel so trapped in that viscious cycle. I did, anyway. Still...compulsion is a good word for it but I wish I could just knock it off and leave myself be. It is ALWAYS something. I was truly a poster child for borderline personality in the late seventies and early eighties when nobody knew what the h... my problem was. That calmed down also as I grew older, but still I can identify thoughts and behaviors but can now recognize them for what they are and try to correct my thinking. I stay out of the bpd forum because the pain people are in is so intense and I have nothing to offer ... it takes a very special therapist to heal such a such trauma. So I am rambling...I am convinced that bpd and si are tightly linked...maybe not in all ways, but definitely some. Thanks for your responses and for reading this.
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 Sannah
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