[DenisDonnacha]

I was briefly a self harmer, for a few weeks about a year ago, until I badly sliced myself more than I meant to and I stopped, no one knows I did this because I told the doctor it was an accident when I was cooking while using the knife.
Lately since I started to play sports again I have sometimes provoked other players into tackling me harder, I do it when I get the same bad feelings I used to have a year ago.
I'm afraid this could go wrong because I could lose a friend over it, or badly get hurt and put an end to my sport playing. But I don't know how to stop.

[puzzclar]

To stop, is not an easy task. This behavior is not healthy, but I do understand. And yes it could end a friendship. Try something like hitting a pillow, or anything else on the list not to self harm.

To stop is not easy, but it is POSSIBLE!!! and that's all you need is possible.

I can understand and relate because I am a self harmer. Maybe you told your doctor it was an accident because you didn't feel comfortable discussing it. It's not good as we all know. Self harming is addicting and can become a bad habit when dealing with negative emotions. You should distract yourself in a healthy way. At the top of this forum, there is “what to do instead of hurting yourself” thread. You could look at it and use the techniques which are on there. Some of them are good to do when you have a urge to hurt yourself. Also, what are the triggers? What's making you feel like this? You could write down your feelings or do something which might cheer you up, such as watching a funny film or having a nice chat with your friend. I hope this helps.

[Sannah]

Deal with the feelings that are causing these urges?

[DenisDonnacha]

Originally Posted by happycheeks

I can understand and relate because I am a self harmer. Maybe you told your doctor it was an accident because you didn't feel comfortable discussing it. It's not good as we all know. Self harming is addicting and can become a bad habit when dealing with negative emotions. You should distract yourself in a healthy way. At the top of this forum, there is “what to do instead of hurting yourself” thread. You could look at it and use the techniques which are on there. Some of them are good to do when you have a urge to hurt yourself. Also, what are the triggers? What's making you feel like this? You could write down your feelings or do something which might cheer you up, such as watching a funny film or having a nice chat with your friend. I hope this helps.

I didn't say how I really got hurt to the doc because they'd tell my parents and if they knew I did things like that they'd have me locked in a padded room.
I always do it when I feel guilty or like I'm not doing my best, it's a punishment thing I guess.

[puzzclar]

Which could turn into an addiction.... finding another out let for the punishment would be smarter then having your sports ended because you can't play due to an injury. Find something else that can help with the same amount of help before it's to late.