Everything was going right for me.......... Was looking forward to christmas and now look's like my dad will be arrested before christmas and I am going to have to give a statement tomorrow to the police..... I have been waiting so long for this moment but now I am nervous I want to escape from it all

I am trying to stay strong but I can't, I want to cut, I feel so guilty cos of mum, I am wicked, Please make this stop.

[roads]

You're not wicked. You are the victim here, Buttercup. Remember that. I know the timing is awful, but you are a strong person. Look how far you've come, what you've already accomplished.

You have ways to distract from the cutting, don't you? Your dad hurt you, Buttercup. You take care of you, the very best way you know how. You deserve it!

[lynn P.]

(((Buttercup))) - I'm sorry you're very upset but don't take it out on yourself and you're not wicked. You're also not responsible for your mom's feelings. I don't know your story but if they want a statement, then you can do this. Can you have something close to you be by your side? We're here holding virtual hands. Try to take some calming breaths. Don't worry about this affecting Christmas...you'll get back on track for the holidays.

[Sannah]

THis is a scary/difficult situation for you. Keep us posted on how you are doing.

I am not even sure I can do this, Why do I feel so guilty? If something happens to mum then I will blame myself.

[needfixing]

the guilt is coming from your father.
man are you a brave person (((hugs)))
when i was 16 i had to file charges against my oldest brother for beating the daylights out of me on a daily basis.
if it weren't for 2 teachers, school nurse, and school counselor the cop said if i don't file charges the next time he sees me will be in body bag.
i filed the charges being afraid, but it saved my life.

I am sorry that you went through that I just can't help but feel sorry for mum, I cried myself to sleep last night thinking of her, I want to escape from it all, I think this will kill her.

[needfixing]

it was the 2 teachers that had enough with my beatings.
one was home ec teacher, i had a project, i had to sew a skirt and try it on, when i was in the fitting room, she came in to see how it fit and saw the brusies on my legs.
the other was my math teacher, she met my oldest brother at a parent teacher conference and was suspious of my brother behavior towards me.
i had no one, my aunts, uncles, cousins didn't protect me, i had bursies everywhere. heck my own mother never protected me and my dad was too busy working.
please do not let your mas reaction change your mind, i didn't, i filed the charges and it truly saved my life.
may you have strength in your time of struggle, and peace in your heart. (((hugs)))

[Penny T. StDuhnam]

Not knowing how things will play out can certainly be scary! I have sense of fear just reading that tiny snapshot of what you are about to go through.

(((((hugs))))))

I put off the interview until Monday just couldn't do it, I told them I am not feeling well.

[Penny T. StDuhnam]

I'm not mad at cha!! Just breathe and make a plan or schedule for Monday that includes getting the interview over with!

[likewater]

((((Buttercup))))

[likewater]

Buttercup, you have to do what you need to so you will stay safe. My mom actually is very violent and it tears me apart when i can't be around her and when she is locked up. She is about to be locked up again, and it is very sad. But it is nobody elses fault she
behaves violently. Buttercup, you should have never been put in this position. Your mom should have been calling police, but there may be a lot of reasons she didnt. Im so sorry you werent protected. You have to protect yourself. You absolutely, 100% are doing the right thing, and it will be ok.

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((( Buttercup ))))))))))))))

Thank you all so much.

I know that I shouldn't feel guilty but I can't help it, I don't think that I can face Monday. I have been through this once before to do with my brother and the case was dropped 2 weeks before the trial, I was left feeling angry and hurt, My mum is in ill health, If she dies I could not live with myself

Why am I being such a coward? I am a grown woman.

Aww Buttercup....*hugtightly*

I'm sorry sweetie...

[Sannah]

It is probably your inner child who is afraid. (She is there because she hasn't healed yet.)

Thanks, Just 2 days to go, I have not slept much with worry and it doesn't help that my sister is calling me every 5 minutes going on and on.

[Sannah]

Good luck today.

[roads]

Hi, Buttercup. I'm thinking about you, with you in spirit.
Breathe deep, stay in the present, know you are not alone.
** hugs galore **

Roadrunner

Thanks.

I have to do my interview by video on Friday, I told them how nervous I feel they were really good about it but I still feel rubbish, Hopefully this will pass in time.

[roads]

Roadrunner