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#1
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Hey, all. Again. I've gotten a little concerned with something. My self-hate and anguish started turning into something a little more tangible. I acquired a razor, however, I have not done anything with it yet. Since I got it, I have at times sat there with it when I'm really upset... just kind of looking at it, feeling the steel on my fingers, then after a while deciding "Someday... but not today." I think I always put it down because I grew up with aichmophobia, which has since been mostly disintegrated into specifically trypanophobia. But merely holding the blade in my hand is still enough of an emotion rush to forget mostly about what was bothering me. I'm still afraid that someday, I'll get over that after my current "scare therapy" wears out, and I will actually use it. Especially since the most recent time I did this, I was feeling the best I have been in over a year, but I merely got really upset over a poster contest. After a while, I also resorted to something I do instead of cutting: Hitting myself in the head. Enough to get my anger out, and enough to make me dizzy, so I also forget what I was upset about in the end.
Another thing I was thinking about is how one always hears everywhere that "Cutting is bad", "Don't give in to the temptation" and such. What I was wondering is, why? What are the risk factors of cutting? Knowing this might further keep me from resorting to it. |
#2
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cutting produces scars. i know how you feel for me sleeping with my razor helps. i usually don't cut unless i'm really upset and then i force myself to do it. i think your going in the right direction good luck
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#3
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It's super addictive..... to me that is the worst part of it..
__________________
“If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. ... We need not wait to see what others do.” Gandhi |
#4
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Yes it is very addictive, leaves scars, you always have to worry about hiding the cuts, and if you make a mistake and cut too deep you can wind up hospitalized. Or worse. And it makes you feel terrible later. You regret it. Please try not to hurt yourself. <3
__________________
Truth ain't gonna change the way you lie Youth ain't gonna change the way you die -Foo Fighters ••••••••••••• You made yourself a bed At the bottom of the blackest hole And convinced yourself that it's not The reason you don't see the sun anymore -Paramore |
#5
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Well, it can cause infection, damage the underyling tissues, it produces scars which can hurt for months or even years after they've actually healed, it is addictive, expensive and can cause a lot of embarassment, not to mention discrimination from others.
Is there anything you can try which might be less harmful? there are some great threads on here which suggest different methods you may want to try. A favourite of mine is holding ice cubs in my hands for a really long time, or going for a long walk or run until i can feel my muscles pulsating and aching (this also ensures better sleep which is good for you in the long term). As i see it, your at a crossroads whereby you can continue with the way things are and end up cutting which could go on for a long time or you can try and take some steps to intervene with your current mindset and change the course of your healing process. Do as much research as you can - get in touch with a health provider in the meantime and possibly get assessed for any illness you may not currently be aware of. Why not jot down your feelings before you cut so you can establish a pattern of what causes you to feel you want to do this to yourself - this may also be a good things to show to a psych if you get referred to one. Good luck and remember we're always here if you need to talk ![]() |
#6
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Yes, don't start with the cutting. Hitting your head can be dangerous too. Football players are realizing the long term effects of this and it isn't good and they are permanent problems.
Do you have a therapist? Working on why you are having SI urges is the way to go.
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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