I try to sleep and the most horrible thoughts and images come to mind. It gets to the point where I would do anything...anything at all to make it stop. Nobody can fix me. I can't fix me. I am broken and unfixable and don't want to be around to see myself circle the drain any more.
Yes, I have a T. I have a P doc too. Nothing helps. I have tried for so many years and I am really tired. I need it to end.

[stern]

I know how it feels Calista. Just hang on and it will surely get better. Wish you well

I know this situation all too well...

I have "hung in" for years. It's only become worse. I never imagined feeling like this a few years ago.
I can't see the future fo rme.

[stern]

I can't see the future for me.

Neither could i Calista. The world changed for me within some months so i can relate that. Please don't keep an option of harming yourself because it's such a parasite that triggers you at every minor thing and keeps on sucking your positive energies. May be your therapist is not as good to console you. May be sharing with friends or some close one could help you? Stay Safe dear.

[Sannah]

I'm sorry Calista. Have you been discussing the images in therapy? Your circling the drain comment is pretty clever.

I haven't been able to get to therapy most times. Either I can't afford gas or I'm too depressed to move. I'm afraid if I told T some of the images, he'd put me in the hospital. All they'll do there is keep me alive....