[InTherapy]

So, If I make it til Saturday without cutting, it will be 1 month.

The last time I cut, on march 14, was really bad. A good number of my cuts clearly needed stitches.

I was feeling really suicidal that night and talked to my T on the phone for two hours. (Contact between sessions - probably due to that night - have since been revoked )

Anyway, I'm not sure that I *want* to make it a month. I mean, I'm pretty stressed out right now, but I don't particularly want to cut.

But I don't want to reach any "milestones". I don't want anyone to have any expectations of me. I don't want anyone to get their hopes up, because I will only destroy them again. Even though I don't really want to cut right now, I feel like I should to protect the people around me.

Blegh

[Aslan]

goodluck, getting to 1 month.

You can't protect the people around you by hurting yourself...that's unrealistic. Making it to a month is amazing progress even if you're not really trying to make it far w/o cutting. You may not want to stop altogether, but something has kept you from SI & I think it's worth giving yourself credit for. Remember it's your choice & whatever decision you make is ok. The road to recovery can be scary & I understand if you're not ready to pursue it. Once again I congratulate you & hope you continue to go w/o it. Making it to a month shows you that a life w/o SI is possible. Take care 8)