[Sanada]

Just a quick thank you to PC and members for helping me get through the hardest time of my life. Even though, really the healing has only just begun.

I am 1.3 ish year now of no cutting (wow even I am impressed.) I did all sorts of thing when cutting to stop, even by cutting 'more'. Strange. I recognise cutting as part of the psych of some kind of addiction; what kind of psych addiction? Well I am still working that one out, but I have a better idea now of the roots

Coming off my medications has helped loads. Nothing has changed. I am still the same peep. Its almost like swimming to the bottom of the lake, to find what I was looking for in the first place. Something in life that was/is missing.

Confidence is better. The scars remain though. I will have some clever cover ups done to try to hide the scars. The scars are on my left arm and very noticeable to any eye. Esp now its summer. I dont try to cover them up. But sometimes I wish I could make them vanish. Alas no. I must live with the scars, and even after I have some kinda of cover up done I will always notice the scar tissue. Maybe I wont have them covered up because I had a cover up done before and then I went and cut again. Maybe because I thought it was because I could get away with it or because I feel for some reason the need to feel 'imperfect' till I find the bottom of the lake. And find whats missing.

Anyhow, thank you all. I hope that anyone reading this will find some kind of recognition I what I am saying. If not, I am sure I will write something along this note again. I do think that part of the start of 'my' own healing process was giving support to other people who need support. Like you gave to me..xxxxxxxxx

[Ginger Mary]

Hey San

Glad to hear PC has helped you through a hard time. Hope it gets easier from here on out.

Love
Ginger

[Sanada]

ty you Ginger...

i will try

[falling star]

Sanada, take this or leave it if you want. I think that the scars are not ugly. They are a reflection of the pain you have been through and survived! I only have a few that lasted but i look at them and think to myslef, thats where i was. Look at how far i have come. I am reminded of a time filled with so much pain, but now see that life is better. The pain that I lived through makes me a better person. It also reminds me that I don't want to go there again, so I get help when I need it. You are unique, special, and full of wonderful emotions that make you who you are. Be who you are, you are precious.

[Sanada]

Originally Posted by falling star

Sanada, take this or leave it if you want. I think that the scars are not ugly. They are a reflection of the pain you have been through and survived! I only have a few that lasted but i look at them and think to myslef, thats where i was. Look at how far i have come. I am reminded of a time filled with so much pain, but now see that life is better. The pain that I lived through makes me a better person. It also reminds me that I don't want to go there again, so I get help when I need it. You are unique, special, and full of wonderful emotions that make you who you are. Be who you are, you are precious.

awwwwwwwwwwwwwww thank you Star..
Thank you for shining or me. I hope I can do the same for you.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[KeepHoldingOn]

I agree with Star, they show us where we used to be and how far we’ve come. Your pain and suffering was real and you lived through it. Hopefully it has made you into a better, stronger version of yourself. Sanada you are such an inspiration to me and probably many others on here. Your posts give me hope that maybe one day I can be free as well.

Sending many hugs and good thoughts your way. Keep it up, you are amazing.

[roads]

Hey, (((((Sanada)))))
dear cool gentleman friend
be well
Roadie

[Sanada]

Originally Posted by KeepHoldingOn

I agree with Star, they show us where we used to be and how far we’ve come. Your pain and suffering was real and you lived through it. Hopefully it has made you into a better, stronger version of yourself. Sanada you are such an inspiration to me and probably many others on here. Your posts give me hope that maybe one day I can be free as well.

Sending many hugs and good thoughts your way. Keep it up, you are amazing.

Hello KeepHoldingOn.

I agree with Star too. And with you. When I look at the scars I see the past path of pain and (sometimes) happiness. Because when I used to self harm , 'back then' I thought it was somehow connected to happiness. I guess it was an addiction. I do hope so too that the events of going through what I did , does make me into a better person (I am trying.)

Keep, I believe that you can achieve anything you want when stopping something (like s/h) or anything that requires us to stop. But freedom is best achieved through control. A friend of mine once quit smoking, and I would say 'so you have 'quit', and he said 'no, I just dont smoke at the moment'. That was nearly 20 years ago, and he still does not smoke 'at the moment'.

Thank you for your reply.