[SoupDragon]

Just an off load and I have banned myself from contacting T in between sessions.

I have been fine for a few months now, but for some reason, this week, my thoughts are drifting here.

I know some stuff has come up for me lately with T, but I can't identify any strong emotions right now - just this rising urge to.......well you know

I am so trying to keep myself chilled out, being calm, thinking gentle things, taking the odd beta blocker, but it is like this creature is in me waking up and wanting to take charge of things.

[optimize990h]

I understand where u r coming fr with trying to control the negatives. I am struggling with that right now. They r still trying to figure things out for me, but I'm told it's complicated. I hope to focus on things I need to do. Take care.

[Sannah]

Sometimes digging into stuff in therapy causes urges.

[SoupDragon]

Originally Posted by Sannah

Sometimes digging into stuff in therapy causes urges.

It does make me wonder if the T thing is therefore worth it - I had felt so less overwhelmed by stuff the last few months - I don't like this place I get to. I guess it will pass again.....soon I hope.

[AngelWolf3]

I completely understand. I am in that place too, recently started therapy again after 10 years. I haven't done anything in a very long time, and I had a really intense session yesterday, was digging my fingers into under my nails to stay grounded, and inadvertently made both thumbs under the nails bleed. Needless to say, I feel it today every time I type or wash my hands, and it makes me miss what I used to do...but I am really trying not to do anything else, but like you, it is creeping its way, lurking in the shadows.

You are not alone good luck to you...

[Sannah]

But in order to get better you have to go through this with your T.

[SoupDragon]

Originally Posted by Sannah

But in order to get better you have to go through this with your T.

I do so hope there is a getting "better" bit, I think sometimes I lose faith in it working.