i have a serious question

I am not sure of how many of you read the post about my daughter and her total embarrassment at school, but she recently told me that she tried to cut herself with a butter knife after some boys at school made fun of her.

How do you handle this? How do you talk to her about it without making it out that you are angry at her? I am not angery at all. I am just concerned. any thoughts

I'm glad she had the confidence in you to tell you that. It must be hard and scary for you to hear, and it's very positive you see how your attitude towards it will affect her.

I've never had to deal with anything of this issue, so I don't exactly know what it is you can do that would help her, but it runs along the general lines of letting her know that she can talk to you at any time about these matters and that you will not be angry, to let her know you'll be there for her. She probably knows that anyway but there is no harm in repeating it. Maybe you could ask her what gave her the idea of using a butter knife rather than, say, hitting a wall or something. It might have been suggested by somebody at her school, and in that case maybe you could bring to her attention alternative ways of releasing anger.

Maybe the cutting attempt at school was a one-off, but with the taunting there she might do it again, more successfully, so then you should look out for her covering up her arms or other parts of her body and being more secretive than usual.

I'm glad you're there for her and reacting in such a calm fashion, it will help her and will give her further confidence in confiding in you as she gets older, too.

((((((((((((( mel ))))))))))))))

thanks silver_queen.
It concerns me for her. I will talk somemore to her and get her opinon on it. maybe it was a one time things that she was sooo angry she didnt know what else to do.. but then again it may not be...

thanks again

(((((((((((((((Mel)))))))))))))))))))
I would have loved to have you as a mom when I was a teen! The fact you are listening to her is one of the best things you can do. My mom used to get so upset at me it it just made me do it more and not speak to her about it at all. It really sounds like the two of you have a nice bond.
BIG HUGS
Cher

this may help
http://www.palace.net/~llama/psych/injury.html

if she isn't in to therapy now is a good time to do it. if she made and attempt then she has been thinking about it for a long time and has gotten past the fear of doing it. she needs a professional to help her through things so that this one attempt does not become her form of release. if the butter knife did not cut the skin then she may not have experienced the endorphin/rush thing that comes right after the slicing and watching the fliud run out. Im glad she is confiding in you but now that she has upped the ante so to speak if it was me I would up my side of the support and resourses ante by getting her into therapy now. before it becomes more of a problem.

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myself said:
if she isn't in to therapy now is a good time to do it. if she made and attempt then she has been thinking about it for a long time and has gotten past the fear of doing it. she needs a professional to help her through things so that this one attempt does not become her form of release. if the butter knife did not cut the skin then she may not have experienced the endorphin/rush thing that comes right after the slicing and watching the fliud run out. Im glad she is confiding in you but now that she has upped the ante so to speak if it was me I would up my side of the support and resourses ante by getting her into therapy now. before it becomes more of a problem.

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yup yup.....I agree with myself. It is not a good way to release her feelings and I can vouch on the addictive effects as well.
Keep us posted hon!

My daughter who is now 25 had a difficult time with SI behavior.... cutting, burning, eating disorders... she is 6'0 and weighed 100 lbs at one time... Thank god for therapy.... she also attempted suicide many many times... sometime cutting is a gateway of other things.... please get help for her.... Lilith

thanks guys. My daughter is about to be 11 and is already 5 ft 4. she wears an 8 1/2 in womens shoes, which is bigger than me. So she already feels like she is out of place and that no one likes her. I havent told my hubby about this yet! Our insurance changed and i think that they now cover therapy... i will have to check into it... but seriously think that she needs to be in some kind of therapy

Thanks guys for listening to me

its very good that your daughter decided to tell you that. some kids cut just to see what its like, but some cut, and then cut again, and soon it is like an addiction for them. you should sit her down, and ask her to honestly tell you what has all been going on, and hugs, she may not want any at all, or she may like them, but even if she acts like she hates it when you hug her, she truly needs someone to comfort her. just always comfort her, and don't leave her be. tell her how much you love her, and if there is anything you can do. i am 15 and struggled with cutting for over a year, and am giving this advice out of my own experience. i would have loved to have comfort from my mother, but she just broke away from me and wanted nothing to do with me or my problem. so, coming from a teenager, try to be there for her, its all you can really do.

I don't really know what to say. You might want to talk to her about it being an addiction. That is why I turned to SI instead of drugs and alcohol... no one told me it was addictive. No one told me it would ruin my life.