[elishakate1337]

Usually when I cut I feel a little more in control for a little while. I don't know why. But lately its been getting out of control. I do it all the time and it's getting pretty bad. Getting hard to hide. And I feel bad because I've been lying to my t for a while now. She doesn't really focus on si, but back in March she had me sign a contract that I would call her if I was thinking about si, or be honest about it in our sessions if I had done it that week. I haven't done that at all for a long time. She asks me every once in a while how I'm doing with it and I always tell her I'm fine, and she never pushes me. But I feel horrible for lying. I'm sure she can see right thru me. She will be so mad if I tell her I've been lying. But I think I need to tell her because its gotten so bad. Idk what to do

[littlemssunshine]

Definitely tell her. You don't have to feel badly; just apologize for not telling her sooner and for trying to keep it a secret. Be honest about the fact that you didn't follow the contract and didn't want to talk about it with her then, but let her know how intense it has gotten and how much you DO need to talk about it with her now. She wants to help you through your struggles and get you to a place of peace where you don't resort to SI, and I am sure that she won't be mad at you. She may have wanted to know sooner, but I am sure she knows that it isn't easy to talk about it and will be proud that you are brave enough to tell her the truth and want help for it now. You are so strong and will get better, and your therapist will definitely help you through it. Stay strong and let me know how it goes, love!

[Miswimmy1]

I don't think she will be angry at you. I do however think that she is going to wonder why u didn't trust her enough, or feel ok enough, to tell her... But either way, she is going to wanna help you... Her not pushing you about it is her way of letting u know that she is willing to go at your own pace...