[SoupDragon]

For weeks I have been fine - thought this was all behind me - someone I was working with was SI'ing and she showed me her scars and talked about the method (she knows nothing of my issues) I new this had stuck in my head for a while and seemed the perfect method to cover my scars (fairly small ones) and so I could explain it as an accident in the future.

So tonight I was OKish, was busy in the house and then realised that method was right there in front of me - so I did it.

Now I feel utterly stupid, guilty, etc etc

I was dreading T and now I am really dreading T - I know I will feel ashamed amd hope he doesn't ask anything.

Damn it - why was I so stupid!

[littlemssunshine]

You are not stupid. These things happen, and sometimes when you start thinking about it, it overtakes you. That doesn't make it okay, but it happened and you now know that this isn't something you want to do again. You are still a strong, lovely person. Try not to beat yourself up for it and instead learn how to improve and prevent this from happening next time. I struggle with the thoughts all the time, and I'm sure if I was in the same situation as you with your coworker, I may have even slipped up myself.

You made a mistake, and you are still an amazing person, never forget it.

[emotionally_drained]

Your not stupid it triggered u hugs xxx

[Wren_]

(((soup))) I know you are feeling bad about all of this but telling your T about it ... painful though it will be ... might help to bring this method out into the open more and remove it from being a temptation again like it was this time. Not stupid ... just frustrating for you and not really what you wanted

((((((soupdragon))))))))))

sending safe hugs and thinking of you