[grey_aj]

So last night I cut myself for the first time in half a year. I felt like I deserved it and I felt like I needed it, and I missed it. Right now I'm not feeling anything. I'm not feeling guilty, sad, regretful... it's almost as if I won't admit to doing it. Why am I not feeling the normal regret/guilt/etc.?

Part of me wants to do it again tonight, another part of me is hoping that it was a one time thing. When I supposedly "stopped" 6 months ago, I knew that I would probably end up SIing again sometime in the future, but I didn't think it would be this soon.

-AJ

[Setso]

Don't do it abshsnns!
Come talk to us when u feel u wanna cut

[grey_aj]

*Possible trigger???? Idk *

Thanks I thought I got better but apparently not... I cut on and off, don't know if I will ever be able to stop permanently. Sometimes I just want to be able to cut and be able to happy at the same time. I didn't realize how much I missed it. It felt good for me and that's the scary part.

-AJ

[Setso]

Yeah it is scary

Can u think of anything else that feels good and kinda hurts too? Like sex?

Do you feel the need to cut to punish yourself? That's a mental lie, you don't deserve this, please don't listen to those thoughts.

[SoupDragon]

I can relate to the good feelings SI brings, but for me those feelings switch, not while the injury is "fresh", but afterwards the scars just bring me feelings of guilt / regret and inconvenience.

So yes in the short term I really get how this "behaviour" works, but it is the long term consequences that I try to focus on when I get the urge.

Do you know whether anything changed this week to lead you to SI'ing?

[grey_aj]

Haha I'm 15. So I'll pass on the sex thanks. :P

Sort of stressed out this week. I SI on and off approximately every half a year or so. I guess it only takes 6 months for the guilt and regret of doing it to go away.

I did it last night, even though I didn't really have to. :P I just felt like it. But thanks for the answers guyss

- AJ

[Setso]

Originally Posted by ajbpdljhsk

Haha I'm 15. So I'll pass on the sex thanks. :P

Sort of stressed out this week. I SI on and off approximately every half a year or so. I guess it only takes 6 months for the guilt and regret of doing it to go away.

I did it last night, even though I didn't really have to. :P I just felt like it. But thanks for the answers guyss

- AJ

SI at 15?? What are they putting in the school chicken these days D:

Please don't do this! Keep taking steps to quit, love yourself you don't need to
Punish urself. Ur okay!

[grey_aj]

A part of me is thinking, well, now that I've relapsed anyways, why not make use of it and just go crazy for a little while? Stupid, I know.

I haven't really been feeling the whole guilt regret thing, just more like a stupid idiot.

- AJ

[Sannah]

Therapy............

[greyclouds]

Your 15 don't let this ruin your youthful skin. ImageUploadedByTapatalk1348525124.655549.jpg the scares of your love remind me of your love!

Be strong don't let your inner scares be a tattoo on your shell

[grey_aj]

I just accomplished something and everyone kept congratulating me, but on the inside I felt really down about myself and kept going through every flaw in my head and SI crossed my mind... why am I doing this?!

I feel like one day, I am eventually going to snap.

- AJ

[greyclouds]

You can beat it, we all can, I'm free from it now.. But when times get tuff I still feel the erg, don't get me wrong.

Is it going to clear my head? Yes it will.. But will it help? The answer is always no!
You have done so well, let this be a small relapse and then keep up your good work of being free.
Keep reminding yourself of how well you have done. And that you can be strong