[Noesus]

I'm 24 years old, I live with my parents and am in a Cosmetology school. My mother has been on me about not spending enough time with her because I'm so busy with school, and I feel like I am taking everything to the extreme, but I don't have enough strength in me to deal with it any other way. She yells at me for not cleaning my dishes for eating which is the only time she claims to see me anymore. So I stopped eating, I haven't eaten much all week the thought of eating makes me cringe, I feel weaker every day, I am shaking like crazy all the time. We got into an argument yesterday about pointless things, I was about to eat something for the first time in a few days and she already jumps on me about not doing my dishes, so i put the food away clean my bowl and go upstairs. She sent me messages on skype about everything im diong wrong in our relationship...when we stop the conversation I took a CD player case and beat my arm with it till it was red and burning. Then I took a bobby pin pulled off the rubber protector and scratched it into my arm. I've been hiding them all day, I feel guilty when I look at them. But I also feel like, I hurt myself more than my mom did, so that I win. If I can make my body feel worse physically than she makes me feel emotionally, I beat her. But the problem is ME, she isn't a terrible mother, I don't know why I'm reacting like this..... I haven't done this in 7 years..I thought I was over it.

[Miswimmy1]

I have the same issue, this power struggle between my parents "winning" and me "winning". the truth is, no one really wins in the scenario. You are only hurting urself. I suggest that you get some profression help, because there is something underneath the hurting (something that is bothering you emotionally, etc) and until you find that and solve it, it will be very hard to stop hurting urself like that. I hope that you can find someone that you can confide in who can help you find that underlying issue. Its a tough thing to go through, but it has helped me more than i can even imagine.

[JayneDough!]

The first thing I would do is move out. Try to find a low income apartment or move in with roommates. It sounds to me like your mom is a control freak and the relationship is clearly dysfunctional. If you have to move into a woman's shelter. That way you can get away from your mom for a few days and get some food in you.

My relationship with my mother was exactly the same way and moving out was the best thing I ever did. For some reason there are just parents out there who don't want their kids to grow-up and live happy-heathy-normal lives. I live about 100 miles away from my Mom now and sometimes I think even that is too close!

You need to have the space to be you without constant criticism. Best wishes.