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#1
Dec 05, 2012, 05:34 AM
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I gave into my depression yesterday, and sliced my arm up. Not too deep, but I definitely feel ashamed for giving in. Although it felt so relieving immediately afterward, now the day after I am feeling regret. Will I ever shake these feelings up wanting to harm myself? I just wanted to share my relapse and maybe get some feedback or some tips to overcome the urges. :/ It's going to be so hard to hide from people. I could have done it in a less obvious place. Ugh.
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Dx: Borderline Personality Disorder, Depression, Chemical Dependency, Generalized Anxiety Disorder Rx: Effexor XR 300 mg, Risperdal .5 mg, Cogentin (as needed for tremors due to Risperdal), Depakote 1000 mg "Immerse your soul in love."
-- Radiohead. |
 Angelornot
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#2
Dec 05, 2012, 08:42 AM
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Hi ragirl, welcome to PC. Are you in therapy?
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Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#3
Dec 05, 2012, 08:53 AM
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I was in therapy until recently. Financially, I just can't do it atm. Sorry, forgot to introduce myself. This is my first post on Self-Injury. I felt I should tell someone about what I did recently.. especially since I'm not in therapy right now.
__________________
Dx: Borderline Personality Disorder, Depression, Chemical Dependency, Generalized Anxiety Disorder Rx: Effexor XR 300 mg, Risperdal .5 mg, Cogentin (as needed for tremors due to Risperdal), Depakote 1000 mg "Immerse your soul in love."
-- Radiohead. |
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#4
Dec 05, 2012, 09:05 AM
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No problem at all. There isn't a student therapy program at your university?
Do you understand what caused this urges this time?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#5
Dec 05, 2012, 06:50 PM
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No, we don't have a student therapy program unfortunately.
I feel like I can go weeks without harming myself and then the urge just builds and builds until I just have to do it to get relief. I go through periods where I feel absolutely nothing, and then periods of deep depression. I am going through some trouble with my parents. My mother caused a huge scene with my boyfriend at my father's 59th birthday. She just absolutely hates him. I live with my parents right now because I'm trying to re-cooperate, but for the past week I've been living with the boyfriend just to escape her. She has borderline personality disorder like me, plus narcissism and histrionic behavior. I'm so tired of being hurt by her. I love her so much, and I just want her to accept me.
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Dx: Borderline Personality Disorder, Depression, Chemical Dependency, Generalized Anxiety Disorder Rx: Effexor XR 300 mg, Risperdal .5 mg, Cogentin (as needed for tremors due to Risperdal), Depakote 1000 mg "Immerse your soul in love."
-- Radiohead. |
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#6
Dec 05, 2012, 07:23 PM
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Quote:
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#7
Dec 06, 2012, 01:45 AM
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I know. I guess I'm just having a hard time accepting that. Thank you for caring..
__________________
Dx: Borderline Personality Disorder, Depression, Chemical Dependency, Generalized Anxiety Disorder Rx: Effexor XR 300 mg, Risperdal .5 mg, Cogentin (as needed for tremors due to Risperdal), Depakote 1000 mg "Immerse your soul in love."
-- Radiohead. |
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#8
Dec 06, 2012, 08:38 AM
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This IS hard stuff to accept. Accepting your situation as it really is, is so important, though. You have to start where you are at and if you are living in denial or in a fantasy land, then this isn't a good footing to move forward in your life. Your mom can't give you what you need because you are bad or worthless or something. Your mom can't give you what you need because she has major problems. You can't get orange juice from an apple.
You are welcome  .......
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#9
Dec 06, 2012, 08:20 PM
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Hi, I'm the exact same way.. I give in to my self harm impulses a lot too. It's difficult to, and hard to hide if in obvoius places. I regret them a lot and the next day wish I hadn't but it goes away later on, for example; My story with self-injury is I end up getting so mad, hurt or sad and depressed that I take a razor or broken glass and just cut straight. I love the pain and it going away, but I hate that it ends up only lasting the night,
 But I find listening to really upbeat, loud, rocking out kind of music helps. And if you don't like listening to music and just sitting there, you can take a radio player or iPhone and go for a run or to the gym. I usually love taking my anger out for a run and if not then maybe punching bags help caz I get to hit it a bunch of times.  hope you find other things, and hope this helps. those are what I tend to do if I want to give in im here if you ever want to message me to talk. even if im just a stranger <3
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 JessecuhSceneLove
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