[JessecuhLove94]

I'm new; But I'm 18 & live with family. Some of you might say my username has to do with why I'm on this site, but you are wrong.
You all have the same issues as me and others on other illnesses.
Here's my story:

I have mild depression, and self injure for 2 years now.
Yesterday, I felt down with no one to really talk to.
I've had people notice when I cut, I'm not ashamed, but sometimes I have regretted hurting my own self.
I know that once a person injures themselves, they have scars for the rest of forever...
I'm making this post just to get some insigh, and maybe help myself & others (:
But I know I need to stop, and try to find reasons to be happy..

I just wanted to know how many of you, have been dealing with different issues to make you struggle with self injury? How many times a day or month or whatever do you tend to do it? What are some reasons or excuses you tell people when or if they notice? How many years have you done it for? Do you rely on yourself to quit if you want to stop, or do you think finding someone you care for/they care for you make you wantto quit?
It'd be great to talk to any of you, or get some insight.
-SuicideSickness <3

[Sam2]

Originally Posted by suicidesickness94

I'm new; But I'm 18 & live with family. Some of you might say my username has to do with why I'm on this site, but you are wrong.
You all have the same issues as me and others on other illnesses.
Here's my story:

I have mild depression, and self injure for 2 years now.
Yesterday, I felt down with no one to really talk to.
I've had people notice when I cut, I'm not ashamed, but sometimes I have regretted hurting my own self.
I know that once a person injures themselves, they have scars for the rest of forever...
I'm making this post just to get some insigh, and maybe help myself & others (:
But I know I need to stop, and try to find reasons to be happy..

I just wanted to know how many of you, have been dealing with different issues to make you struggle with self injury? How many times a day or month or whatever do you tend to do it? What are some reasons or excuses you tell people when or if they notice? How many years have you done it for? Do you rely on yourself to quit if you want to stop, or do you think finding someone you care for/they care for you make you wantto quit?
It'd be great to talk to any of you, or get some insight.
-SuicideSickness <3

Hi. I'm glad you don't feel ashamed when you do SI. That lightens the load a bit. You are right, you do need to stop, not for anyone else, but for yourself.
Even though you only feel "a little depressed", there is obvously something bothering you, perhaps on a deeper level. Cutting is kind of a radical thing to do for a mild problem.

The thing about cutting is that is tends to get worse over time. At first, its sort of experimental, but seems to relieve your emotional discomfort for a while, but that wears off. Pretty soon, it takes more radical cuts to make you feel better. Even the small cuts can get infected, and if you make a mistake, you could wind up cutting a vessel or tendon.

When I started, some three decades plus ago, I didn't think it was a big deal. I was wrong though. It became a big deal as the SI got worse and the attacks more vicious. I went from burning an arm with heated nail heads to cutting through skin, fat and muscle all in one stroke of the knife. I could have bled out or had a clot break free and cause death. Usually, the incidents would occur when the stress got too bad and or I felt trapped. I finally stopped after decades of self inflicted wounds by promising a good friend I wouldn't do it again. That may not work for everyone, but it did me.

What ever the reason, you need to find out why you are cutting so you can stop it before it gets bad. Cutters aren't trying to commit suicide, but they are trying to stop emotional pain. As far as scars go, its hard to keep track of all the excuses after a while. Most people cut areas that won't be seen most of the time. You don't want be covered with scars though. They will stay with you for life. Whether its coming here or going to a professional, you need to get help so that you can stop.

Sam2

[krosis]

Let's see here...
I struggle with si mainly because of the bouts of serious loneliness that happen to me where there isn't really anyone around to talk to or even to make small talk with. I agree with Sam2 that some are trying to stop emotional pain, but for me, I think it's more to get rid of feeling so numb. Feeling pain instead of nothing kind of thing. I started when I was 16/17, so about 3 years. My frequency has gotten worse over time. There was about 7 or 8 months between #1 and #2 and it slowly shrunk from there. It seems to be about every two or three months now. Which I know is nowhere near as frequent as a lot of others. I don't cut or burn, I do something else (which I'm not going to explain because it's unusual and I don't want to give others any ideas or anything) that leaves me with a fairly large scrape. If people notice and ask about it, I make up an excuse. I'm pretty active, so I blame it on a bike accident or falling off a skateboard. My mom thinks I just have a hard time healing. I haven't found the courage to tell people that they're from si yet. I'm relying on myself to quit for now. I'm a pretty independent person, and I don't have anyone that I feel will understand if I tell them about it. I decided to quit shortly after my last one about a month ago, so we'll see in a month or 2 if I need help to prevent it or not.

If I remember correctly, there's a sticky thread on this forum saying things to do instead if you feel like si. So you could check that out for ideas if you need some. Everyone is different, and I think that relying on myself will work for me, but I did read a study somewhere that said if you tell people that you're going to do something, you're more likely to do it.

[nicoleb2]

I struggle with SI because... well I do it for a few reasons. When I feel like everything is out of control, i control it. When I am numb and dead inside, I do it to feel something. When I'm anxious, I do it and it lowers the anxiety.
That stuff is pretty much all caused by the things I have stuffed away in my life. Deaths, family issues, etc.

I think you can really only quit for yourself, not for anyone else. I have had times when I thought I was done, but then something comes up that throws me off and I do it again

[puzzclar]

I've had anxiety issues since I was young, and then other things came up, Clinical Depression, Psychosis, PTSD, and sever Anxiety attacks. All of this could be just because of past, or it could be all chemical.

I si to feel some sort of release, and escape, from my existence.

Firstly, I would like to say that there are many skin products out there that can help fade scars so you won't have them forever. If you choose to use those products, of course. Some really do work, I've used them myself and my scars, even the ones that were very deep and very obvious are now almost completely faded.

I started SIing a couple of years ago. It started off and on and I would do a lot in one day and then stop for the next month or so. But within the past year I've been harming myself almost everyday ritually. I am currently trying to stop and I've been free for a couple of months now. I currently depend on myself to stop because I don't really have a carer or anyone else who is supportive in the way that I need them to be. My parents help, but not much.

I don't really remember why I started, for a while I felt like I was being instructed to hurt myself because if I didn't then bad things would happen to my family and friends, so in a way, I felt like I was doing the right thing. Then I also did it when I felt like I was loosing control of my situation. It didn't really give me control over anything, though, because I ended up being a slave to SI. It just gave me a nice relaxing feeling, so I kept doing it.