Normal?

I was wondering if any body else has this problem, I self harm and when I do it usualy leaves a noticeable scar but when I'm around people and slip up hiding them like short sleeves they have to notice them yet say nothing. Its probably best they dont say any thing any way. they know im having problems but dont ask about it am I the only one that has this problem or do people not care if I do it? This probably sounds really stupid but I thought id ask

I think people do care that you harm yourself, but are uncomfortable with it. In our society, it is considered impolite to inquire about personal things. Even if it wasn't, people don't know how to respond, or what to ask. Some are afraid and don't understand it.

Most people are ok to a point about physical illness, but not emotional and psychiatric problems. Even with physical disabilities, people don't quite no how to handle it. Ask anyone who is in a wheel chair, or someone who is blind or deaf about the reactions they get about their conditions. We value our privacy as well.

Do you have a therapist that is helping you work out your problem? Its never too late to reach out and ask for help. It may not be easy, but it would probably be in your best interest. You are using cutting as a coping mechanism, and you'll need help finding a better way of dealing with the feelings that trigger the cutting. I know you don't want to die, or lose the loss of a limb. It happens no matter how careful you think you are being. You can get out of the situation you are in, it just takes some courage and a will to stop.

Sam2

no i am not seeing a dr for this I have been told to see one but have yet to do it. Is cutting because your mad at some one coping to? when ever I got really mad at some one rather than do some thing I might regret I cut to kill the anger

I think some people notice and don't know what to say or do, and some honestly don't see it. I automatically look at those areas because I self harmed, most people arn't inclined to look at those parts of the body. You should really consider talking to a counselor/therapist, they can help teach you other ways to cope with your anger towards others as well as other issues. Yes, it is common among those who self injure to also do it when they are upset with others. We use it to stop whatever feeling we don't want to feel. Anger, anxiety, depression, the list goes on. When I would cut it was like everything would slow down for a bit. I could think and focus my thoughts. Panic attacks would stop and for those few minutes I felt ok/normal. The problem is that the relief takes more and more SI to get to. Like an alcoholic, one cut soon isn't enough, eventually it has to be more or deeper to get the equivalent relief. The problem lies not within the danger of the first cut, it's the danger of what it becomes. It will make us hide, and lie, do permanent damage to our bodies and relationships with others. Seek help now. The sooner you get the help the more likely you are to avoid the tragic consequences. Also look up the poem, "Before you make that first cut", because we all tell ourselves that it will never get that bad, except it does.

Yes, cutting because you are angry at someone is a coping mechanism. There are three ways to handle anger at someone. The first way is to strike back, either yelling at them or physically assaulting them. The second is by turning your anger inward. That produces depression, cutting and low self esteem. The third way is the most healthy. Calmly and rationally confront the person, tell them what they did to anger you and try and work things out.

Obviously the third is the hardest, and unfortunately takes two people acting like adults. People who choose the third route realize that reagardless of what the other person says or does, they need to stay calm and rational. That is extremely difficult sometimes, so there is always the choice of just walking away and letting the other person have thier tantrum.

If you think about it, cutting yourself is about the same as going after the person you are angry at. Someone is getting hurt. Let me ask you this. If the person in question made you mad, would you pick up a razor, knife or something hot and assault that person? If the answer is no, then why do it to yourself?

You're question just isn't that simplistic. We all know that in our society, assaulting another person is likely to land you in jail. It is also a taboo, and most of us won't cross that line unless they are physically attacked or someone they love is. Instead, we go after ourselves because we have morals and ethics and don't really want to hurt someone else. We like to fantasize about what we would like to do to that person, (which is actually a lot better than going after ourselves), but few of us would follow through. If we did, life would be chaos.

Seeking help for self harm is difficult, I know. You may be embarrassed or ashamed or just plain scared, but cutting is truly a cry for help. Please don't be embarrassed by your SH or ashamed. You are ill, and emotional illness every bit as painful as a physical ailment. What you say to a therapist stays between the therapist and yourself. You control the sessions and decide what you do and don't want to say. The therapist is there to gently guide you towards a better way of dealing with your anger or any other trigger for cutting. Please do get help though. The longer you let this go, the more difficult it will be to get help. We as a species have a great capacity for denial, and are quick to use it when we fear something. Let us know how you are doing.

Sam2