[kala83]

I just found today that GF is a cutter and apparently she ended up doing so last night.

this honestly terrifies me, I was having a really sevier panic attack and was not at all thinking straigh I am afraid I said things that might have triggered this in her.

so that makes me feel really guilty also, I just don't know to manage my panic attacks when they are that strong.

And I need to keep in mind I am not the only one with low body images either. If I can't use tack when I speak to my SO s then I just need to find other ways to cope with my anxiety issues...and try not talking to others until I can manage them better.

I wish there were books out there for partners of cutters. But I want to start finding books on the subject. She did not make deep cuts in proabbly a week they will not even be noticeable but it still does scare me and I know very little about this.

[Travelinglady]

I assume she hasn't been diagnosed with anything. I would enourage both of you to go to a therapist together--or at least you can start talking with your therapist. It would be tough to always worry that you would do something to set her off.

Off hand, I don't know of any resources for partners of cutters, but there might be something about it, say, in a book about borderline personality disorder......

She definitely needs help. I hope somebody else will have some ideas here, too!

[Rapunzel]

Talk to her about it. Ask her what it means for her. Cutting means that something is wrong that she doesn't have the ability to cope with in a more constructive way, and she needs help from a professional. It needs to be taken seriously because it means that there is something wrong, but it is actually an effort to cope. And it probably isn't because of you. You can't take responsibility for someone else's choices, but you can be there for her and help her get help.

"Stop Walking On Eggshells" is one book that might be relevant. Remember, the cutting is not the main issue - it is an outward sign or symptom that she has a problem she can't deal with. She needs support in dealing with whatever the problem is.

[GirlOfManyFaces]

I cut and my now ex boyfriend cut too. He knew about me before I knew about him. And I scared him constantly. He was always afraid of how bad it was. He stopped long before we started dating so he was here for me. But you obviously don't have that knowledge.

The only advice I have it to be supportive. Don't tell her that its wrong. She knows. Just kiss her wrists and tell her you are here for her. And that she doesn't need to feel that way because she has you... Tell her that...

Just make sure she is safe an isn't goin too deep. She needs your love and support

Good luck

[kala83]

actually we both see councilors and she has a huge list of mental issues such as Post Tramtic stress, Boarder Line Personality Disorder, Bipolar, General Anxiety and Depression

So actually she has been diagnosed already and has been for a while since she has delt with really intense issues for a while now. She just slipped a few nights ago....we want to start going to therapy for all of us..as well as doing our individual stuff it was just still a shock to me to find out.

[Victoria'smom]

I had one slip up in April due to med change before that I had 8 years free. Now for about a week it's bad again. You really need to talk to your therapist on how to help or what to do for GF. She should talk to her therapist too. Family therapy has been a great help for myself and husband to learn how our illnesses effect both of us and our family.

[kala83]

oh trust me I talked to my councilor about this today and I totally can tell she did the same cause she told me she would be.And as I said before we want to find a way we can start doing group couples therapy...for both our sakes since we figure it would be really helpful I am doing as much as I can to active in....working on this for the both of us.