back to being self destructive

I cant get off this dam roller ****ing coaster of emotion.It gets triggered by ignorance and pure stupidity I think from others.I am taking too much to heart with all of the issues I have been facing in my life.

Its a wonder why I get to violent and and want to drink and self medicate on days like these just to keep myself somewhat calm and composed.

On days like this really need a good friend to open up to and just let it all out all that's built up inside the hard,sadness, and despair I cant get away from.

I miss not having a support system in my life again.It helped me so much and it made me look and think about things so differently because they knew what I was going though and they could guide you when you needed a shoulder to cry on or a hug or better yet a simple thought of "it going to OK".

I don't want to drag anymore people into my business because i have to fix other issues in my life,but to have some acknowledge that someones knows how I am doing makes me fell just a little better about myself from time to time.

I relate to this really well. Not much else can say.