[boo-bearRAWWR!!!]

But I don't know how.

When I started seeing my T it was for a problem completely unrelated to SI and bipolar. In seeing her, though, I have been diagnosed with bipolar II and anorexia binge-purge type (my reason for seeing her in the first place) OCD and social anxiety.

I still haven't been completely honest though.

With anyone really.

I have flashbacks even of when she asked me at our very first session "have you ever harmed yourself in any way or wanted to?" and of course I answered "no."

Now I feel like even more problems have arose because I'm now getting bullied at school for it. People around me are always doing anything they can to get a look at my wrists and some call me (and another girl at my school who does it) 'emo'. BS.

One girl even held up a piece of paper across the room with the word DIE on it. I also get food shoved in my face on a daily basis because my mum is friends with one of the... might I say... very liked... girl at school and it happened to come up in a conversation. -.- Thanks a lot mum.

But anyways, my point, is that no one knows that I cut and I feel like I'm lying to everyone. I'm trying to stop and I'm currently at a week without doing it. Part of me is just saying that if I stop now then no one will notice and everything will be fine but the more sensible part of me knows that my therapist or doctor eventually is going to notice that I always wear long sleeves or just see the scars.

I need to be honest, but I've just gotten myself in so far already that I don't know how... PLEASE HELP. I'm miserable with anxiety about it. I can't take it anymore.
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[a bland]

its just best to get it out that way u can get help with it. u shouldnt be in this all by urself. it just adds to the pressure. i think u will feel a lot better in the long run if u just tell them. sure its scary right now but the longer u hide it the more ur gunna hate urself for not saying anything. and it might seem like they will judge u but thats not a doc or T's job. their sole purpose is to help u get better. u dont have to tell everyone just who u feel deep down would help u thru it.

[mazing]

I am so sorry to hear that you have had such negative experiences with people Teenagers can be extremely mean. But first of all I want to assure you that it won't always be like this. There is a world outside of the school. I know that doesn't make it any easier to manage now but I just wanted to let you know that it won't always need to be like this.

As for talking to someone, I would really encourage you to talk to your T about it. Most T's understand that it takes time to build a trusting relationship and that you may not disclose all of your concerns at once. Most therapists are very good at managing SI and helping you work through it as a coping mechanism. You should not have to be going through this alone