[Gr3tta]

i've noticed this page gets a lot of new threads, but sometimes doesn't get a whole lot of responses.
i wondered if maybe a check in thread could encourage more responses? lots of other pages have them.
maybe we could utilize this idea here? maybe it's been started before and failed? (i don't know)
anyways, just a suggestion.

personally, right at this moment, i would say i was struggling if i was attempting to fight myself much - but i'm really not. i feel like it's necessary to stay safe in a bigger way, if that makes sense to anyone.

really hope all are well, and hoping for better days for all who are struggling.

[Moodswing]

I want to burn. I want to see the marks on my arm. What stops me? Well it is short sleeve season and I would not be able to hide it from my husband and at the gym. I do burn on my thighs but it is not as satisfying as on my arm. I like to be able to look at marks through the day.

[HabitualQuitter]

I know if I SI I'll end up inpatient again which I'm not totally opposed to. But I've got to push through til the 14th (when I finally see a psych), then the 18th (my girl's recital) then at least through June 3rd when my BIL moves to FL and hopefully keep pushing through until my sister & her kids join him (when their house rents or sells). I don't want to be locked up during our last days here together.

[Moodswing]

I am better today. No SI urges. Go figure.

Thanks for this. I'm kinda nervous and having slight urges. My friend wants to talk to me about something tonight and I don't know what it is.

[winkynjr]

its funny because I was sitting here thinking about posting that I want to cut but then I was like y say anything because no one seems to help by saying anything anyways!!! I never seem to get any support or replies when I do post!!!! then I read Gr3tts post!!!!! so at least I know it wasn't just me!!!!

[Gr3tta]

I am having frustrating tech difficulties, so I might be here kind of sporatically until resolved. I have a lot of bad urges right now, but am trying to keep in mind that a lot of the stuff is temporary, and that I just need to wait it out. Sometimes just a few seconds can seems endless under the right stimuli though. Trying to embrace the idea of things ending - w/o embracing the ultimate end. I'm really glad ppl have been posting to this. I hope people will keep adding. Even if its just to say "today sucks" or "today is great"

It doesn't really help anymore and I'm thinking I need to cut deeper. It's getting hard to fight off these urges. Past few days have been bad. Every day's bad though.

[Gr3tta]

I am glad I rode it out. For now. Even though I'm getting a lil seasick.

[Atypical_Disaster]

I haven't done anything in over a year, but I've been on the edge of relapsing for a couple of weeks now. I'm scared.

I'm just, ugh... so depressed right now that it's starting to look like a really good option.

It's awful, I'm romanticizing it in my mind & I know it... but being self-aware isn't nearly as helpful as people make it out to be.

[Gr3tta]

*agrees* being aware of what you're doing isn't always helpful in stopping. Sometimes it just makes you feel more guilty and worse.
You've come such a long way though! A year! That's amazing. Maybe instead of worrying about why you want to, you can try to concentrate on all the ways you've gotten by without it for the past year.
Thank you for sharing. I really hope you'll feel much better soon.

I don't want to fight the urges anymore. There's no point.

[Gr3tta]

Fearful of horrible thing that is coming. Fears coming apart at the seams but also kind of wants to. Feels really stupid and useless and ridiculous.

[ThisWayOut]

really struggling with the urges today... I have to hold it together, but really struggling...

Gave in.

[ThisWayOut]

failed... but at least I will see my T in a few hours and I already told him through email... I will only regret it if my wife finds out...

[herethennow]

gave in... as with the past month.

[winkynjr]

22 days today!! I want to burn so dam bad I can feel it though

[nicoleb2]

Struggling really bad with cutting urges today. Dreaming about cutting and suicide (and actually remembering my dreams, which scares the hell out of me)

[-Astral-]

its been 2 weeks and i feel like i want to cut but am not going to

[Gr3tta]

Originally Posted by -Asphyxia-

its been 2 weeks and i feel like i want to cut but am not going to

Good for you!!!! Thanks for sharing this.

[grey_aj]

What is that strange hellish feeling where you haven't done it in a long time and you don't really have intense urges BUT you miss SI so so so much all the time and kind of wish you never quit in the first place.... that is me. Omfg.

- AJ

[herethennow]

i tried with the alternative methods. i tried to hard and was successful for about a week or so. but today everything crashed and i gave in......

The urge is very strong right now.

[ThisWayOut]

this time of the morning is the hardest. my wife has gone to work, and I am awake because I had to take her... I want to sleep, but I don't. The act is whispering my name this early... if I give in again then maybe this time...?