[GirlOfManyFaces]

I'm not sure if this is triggering... But better safe that sorry...

<<if easily triggered stop reading here>>



I know it's been a while since I last posted. But I'm back. Sorta... Anyway.
My friend is a cutter and we made a deal that if I say clean of all my bad habits then she won't cut. I've stayed pretty clean but she is going through a hard time and she is giving up. She is telling me she is done and that she can't stop thinking suicidal thoughts. Of course I don't want her to do anything. But I don't know what to do.

I've told he r,on about this, but she doesn't seem to care. So it's kinda up to me. And I'm just barely holding ME up. I can't hold my friend together too. I let her vent to me because it makes her feel better. But for me it's like holding my breathe while someone rips off billions of band aids. If that makes since??

Even though I know venting helps her, I just stare at my wrist and can't stop those thoughts. I haven't hurt myself is a while and I don't want to start thinking about that again. But My Friend is FALLING APART and needs me. But I don't know how to help her.

Any advice would help!! Anything at all...

I just don't want her to do anything she can't take back... But I also want to stay clean... But it looks like it's one or the other. Not both

Thank you for reading

[adam_k]

I don't think you should feel responible for your friends actions. Be there to support her, but it is her choice on how she handles things, good or bad. Let her know she is cared about and you don't want to see her suffer. It sounds like your friend needs more help than you are able to provide. You are friend, but you also have your own needs and problems. Please don't forget yourself when trying to help her. Setting boundaries and not becoming depleted is part of a healthy friendship.

[Sam2]

Ultimately, your friend will do what she wants to or "needs" to. If she does, that doesn't mean that its something personal against you that she couldn't hold the pact. You need to hold on to your own urges. Sometimes helping someone else can be therapeutic in itself.

If your friend has a therapist, see if you can get her to go in. Even go with her and wait in the waiting room. A good friend can be a tremendous help. More than you would imagine. Having said that, you haven't failed her as a friend if she does wind up cutting.

Try and observe her behavior from a neutral point of view. It will give you some insight as to your own behavior. If you can forgive your friend for making a mistake, remember that the next time you make one. (Lets hope the next one doesn't involve SI). What ever you do, don't enter into any pact that is negative. Lean on eachother. Chances are it will go back and forth. This is not a contest, so don't let it become one.

Sam2

[Idiot17]

As usual i obviously have no advice, i just want to let you know you're not the only one in this. I have a couple of friends that depend heavily on me, everything is about my opinion, my advice. They have no idea how triggering they are, they have no idea what I'm going through, what i am. They just believe that for some reason, i understand them. I've had instances where i was barely holding my own, and they my friend needed me desperately. I told her specific times she can reach me and if she feels it's an emergency, i have a set ringer for that. Otherwise i wouldn't survive the stress of it. I learnt with difficulty that i can't let her problems kill me. We can only do so much, the rest is up to them. sometimes i still don't. Hope you can handle it, and come to set boundaries. Your well being is important. It's your friends ultimate choice, not yours. ((((hugs))))