[BPDBIPOLARME]

I self injure with a baseball bat. I did it a lot in college and I started again now in grad school. i think it may because I have so much stress (my co-occuring disorders, school, and working full time). I usually use it on my leg until there are welts and bruises. I was so tempted yesterday because I missed my dose of Geodone and because of that I had major anxiety, insomnia, racing thoughts and delusions.

[Frankbtl]

Can be a very stressful period, any chance you could reduce the stress a little?
Set aside a timetable for studying? Talk to your tutors if you're having difficulties with the work? Get some extended deadlines on work? Surely they can make a few allowances or offer advise on completing projects, their will be other students like yourself up against it with work as well?
Although the hours must be a killer in themselves do you think you could get a slightly easier job?
If you're stressed and flat out and risk of forgetting your meds could your doctor prescribe you something fast acting to take in emergencies. Just a few tablets for just in case.
This is big longshot (!) considering the comitments on your time but do you think you could find more time to do something relaxing or enjoyable to reduce stress?
Don't want to turn you on to another form of self harm but do you think you could loose the baseball bat/give someone else in to lend and remove anything similar. What do you think?
Sorry about all the questions just looking for something that might help, sounds like a very tough time for you.

[Sam2]

Grad school can definately be a major trigger for self harm. I remember being terrified I would fail out every day during those four years. Near the end, it did actually trigger some problems.

There is nothing more annoying than people making suggestions when you feel like you do, but I'll make on anyway. Is there a group on campus or in town that offers meditation? Yeah, I know, I used to think it was kind of stupid and worthless once too. It has worked for me though.

I'm not in grad school anymore, but my job is just as stressful and without meditation, I don't know how I would deal with it. Its just a thought. I hate seeming people in so much pain and feeling like they have lost control of it. Give meditation a try. Yes, a class will probably cost something, but if it stop you from inflicting injury on yourlelf, it would be worth it.

Sam2

[emgreen]

I'm sorry you're under such pressure & find relief from self harming...I did the same when I was younger, so I understand. Just an idea, despite your busy schedule, why don't you take that baseball bat out to the batting cages & hit 100 baseballs/softballs; or, get a golf club & hit a few buckets of balls at the driving range. I find doing so helps relieve the pressure I'm under. I don't mean to sound dumb in suggesting this, but it really does work.