[erpal]

I feel very anxious these days, with all my mood swings, I can't handle it. I take xanax when I start being hyperactive in order to calm down and be able to study and though it does calm me , I'm kind of in a blur afterwards. I know it can hav that symptom that's why I take a small dose, but still.
Today, I feel so intense after experiencing all my mood swings, I've gone from productive and optimistic to desperate, then hopeful, then crying then I gave up and stopped trying to concentrate on my studying. I feel the intensity under my skin. I mean, sometimes i feel all my anxiety concentrated in a body part, like my arm, or my leg or my shoulder. Now it's all over. I really want to cut myself right now. I feel like If I cut myself I will release all these bad feelings and I will feel better. The only thing stopping me is that is summer and it will be visible. But that doesn't really help because the anxiety and all these feelings won't go away.

[Sam2]

How often do you take the xanax? Some of the anti-anxiety drugs have a fast rate of tolerance, meaning it takes more to acheive the same level of effect then it used to. Many of them have been linked to withdrawl while people were still on them. That is because as the tolerance built, the body thought it wasn't getting enough and went into withdrawl. (realize that this effects a small portion of people taking it).

Withdrawl from anti-anxiety drugs can feel like there is something crawling under your skin, make you more anxious, give you headaches and vivid nightmares.

Whether or not that is the problem, the larger one is cutting. You know from experience that the relief you will get will be short lived, while the scars and pain will last longer. Cutting releases endorphins, which is the body's own natural pain killers and can cause temporary euphoria. You can get the same release of these chemicals by running, or exercising hard, neither of which will leave scars or endanger you.

cutting is a very dangerous business. All it takes its one mistake and you lose the use of a hand or bleed to death. No matter how careful you are, these things can still happen. If you don't bleed to death or maim yourself, you could still get a serious infection. Think about it. In hospitals, surgeries are done with very carefully sterilized instruments, skin disinfectants and gowned Dr.s, yet every year, surgical patients develop post operative infections. The chances of you getting an infection are far higher than if you had a sterile surgery done.

Go to a school counsellor, or your parents or friends that you trust and tell them what is going on. The longer you go on with the habit of cutting, the harder it will be to stop.

Sam2

[Perna]

The cutting is bad because it is a chemical reaction that then becomes "addictive" so you have difficulty learning to release your anxiety any other way.

If I were having trouble studying, I would assume the anxiety was part of a reaction to the studying and I would quit and do something else entirely for awhile, as active as I could make it (walk somewhere or join a sporting event, etc.). If I wanted to take my studying "along" with me, I'd think of a theme I was studying and then see if I could find illustrations in "real" life. I'd perhaps go find a meal/something to eat that I'd enjoy or a location I'd enjoy.