[Detia]

I hope none of this content is triggering for anyone, let me know if any language is blatantly problematic. I find it hard to talk about these things without verging on the side of being triggering now matter how lightly things are said.

I can't believe I was 'triggered' the other day. The term has always seemed weird to me, and I wasn't triggered into self-harming.. not right away. I was triggered into an anxiety or panic attack, I could feel my adrenaline rush. I'm still coming down and feel a lot of stress from it about 3-4 days later. The night after I got frustrated with a family and ended up taking out out on myself. I'm really excited that I didn't damage my skin, that I didn't use any tools... but I still hit myself and I can feel it today even though there are no bruises.

I'm trying to forgive myself of that, and break the habit because I found myself doing it again the next morning because I was so frustrated. This probably means I'm at day 0... but today I'm taking the time to exercise, and do yoga throughout the entire day. I haven't been able to focus on my school work and that's really concerning because I have a week's worth of work now due by Saturday.

I wish I could eat better, and avoid the coffee but my household sustains 3 people on foodstamps and we regularly run out of food 2 weeks before refill despite how well we budget and plan the meals. 4 more days until that refill and we have 4 eggs, 1 onion, and a bunch of white bread. I feel that none of this is going to equip my body with the right stuff to fend off hormone imbalances and anxiety but I'm glad that I'm not dealing with depression at least.

Anyone have any suggestions about how I can regain focus so that I can do my school work without falling on cyclic thoughts about what set me off 3 days ago?

[adam_k]

Try to sooth yourself the best you can. Maybe a hot shower, or some meditation if your into that, or even some deep breathing and try to clear your mind. Give yourself somesomething to focus on. Think about how it feels to breath. Is it cool, or hot. Is the air fresh, what smells are there. Try to go somewhere quiet ant relaxing if possible.

To solve the issue that is bothering you, think about what you can do now to work on your problem and if anything can't be done think about what you plan to do in the future and try to let it go until you can work on the issue.

Stay strong and try to keep your spirits up. When you get thru school and find a nice job things will get easier financially.

[Detia]

That's great advice adam_k. I did a bit of yoga and exercise, and I worked on some of the problem with someone involved. We had a small fight but I think that we're okay. Mostly I got upset because I might have been expecting certain answers out of them. They were understanding and I took breaks through the talk to do push ups to let off frustration or to sit and breath deeply for 10 minutes.

Thank you so much for your response.

[adam_k]

I'm glad I could help.