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  #1  
Old May 29, 2013, 07:29 PM
haier haier is offline
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Member Since: Sep 2010
Location: west coast, usa
Posts: 244
Just needed to write this down. I want to harm myself so bad. Really bad. I'm craving the relief ....
Secret: i burned myself with a cigarette the other day. Not happy about that.
Cannot afford to start this up again.

Last edited by notz; Jun 10, 2013 at 06:00 PM. Reason: added trigger icon
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ThisWayOut

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  #2  
Old May 29, 2013, 07:33 PM
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ThisWayOut ThisWayOut is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2013
Location: in my own little world
Posts: 4,227
it was just one little slip. it does necessarily mean you are falling back into it. you can do this (hugs)
Thanks for this!
haier
  #3  
Old May 29, 2013, 10:48 PM
haier haier is offline
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Member Since: Sep 2010
Location: west coast, usa
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don't know what to do
  #4  
Old May 30, 2013, 05:15 AM
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grey_aj grey_aj is offline
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Member Since: Feb 2012
Location: citizen of the world
Posts: 368
It's not easy! We are all just human, and have to accept that there is room for error. As long as you are aware that it was a slip and you have determination to get better, you can do this.

- AJ
Thanks for this!
haier
  #5  
Old May 30, 2013, 06:46 PM
Anonymous333334
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Hang in there! I've been there, I know how hard it is to resist. One minute at a time...or one second. Sometimes I go outside and try to count the different bird sounds. Keep us posted.
  #6  
Old May 31, 2013, 01:39 PM
haier haier is offline
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Member Since: Sep 2010
Location: west coast, usa
Posts: 244
Still struggling. Haven't done anything..Sunday is going to be a hard day..not looking forward to it..feeling a strong need to punish myself. Self hatred is growing...need to work on this on not feed into it...any ideas? I really want to hurt myself and just get it over with. I do not want to call T for this.
  #7  
Old May 31, 2013, 01:40 PM
haier haier is offline
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Member Since: Sep 2010
Location: west coast, usa
Posts: 244
Please help me, i'm reaching out asking for help.
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Trackstar
  #8  
Old May 31, 2013, 01:53 PM
Trackstar Trackstar is offline
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Member Since: May 2013
Posts: 5
Man, i wish i could.

You aren't alone though. I am dealing with the same thing right now. You need to know that us here on this website, we care about your well being and hope to goodness that you are okay. I know what the urge feels like and i know how hard it is. I am here to talk if you think that would help. Something that i do to help is go exercise. it takes my mind off of the pain for a while.

I hope you are okay.
  #9  
Old May 31, 2013, 07:25 PM
Idiot17 Idiot17 is offline
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Member Since: Apr 2012
Location: 6 ft. Under
Posts: 1,378
i Don't have any advice, sorry, being that I'm in the same position. Sending hugs and good wishes your way. ((((hugs)))))
  #10  
Old May 31, 2013, 10:29 PM
Anonymous333334
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Quote:
Originally Posted by haier View Post
Please help me, i'm reaching out asking for help.
Ask yourself, what do you need, Haier? I know it's hard to think about it in the moment. Maybe just one tiny little need, even if it sounds irrelevant? Ice cream? Hang in there. We are with you.
  #11  
Old Jun 02, 2013, 02:27 AM
haier haier is offline
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Member Since: Sep 2010
Location: west coast, usa
Posts: 244
Haven't done anything. Almost came home with something to do it with but i said no and put back. I was able to keep myself busy today and for once in the last week the urge is down a bit. Big day tomorrow.....
Hugs from:
Idiot17
  #12  
Old Jun 10, 2013, 11:36 AM
haier haier is offline
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Member Since: Sep 2010
Location: west coast, usa
Posts: 244
I really want to self harm right now..bad!!!!!
  #13  
Old Jun 10, 2013, 06:42 PM
Anonymous333334
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Good decision on not coming home with something to SI with...you are on the right path believe me! I know how tough it can be but you do NOT deserve to feel this way or to be injured by anyone including yourself. Baby steps...who else can you reach out to Haier?
Thanks for this!
haier
  #14  
Old Jun 12, 2013, 05:06 PM
haier haier is offline
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Member Since: Sep 2010
Location: west coast, usa
Posts: 244
I'm scared to reach out. People don't usually understand. I really want to do something to myself....something bad that i can just say happened on accident....i'm thinking....then i'm scared....i really don't want to but i'm craving that release feeling.
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