More of a regular thing

It's becoming more daily now. I used to not do it so much. I didn't think I'd let it get this far.

I'm sorry that it is getting worse. What do you think might help you curtail it?

It can be addictive. When I get really depressed in my teens I did it everyday. It is just a way to escape what you are feeling. Well for me it was. I would get so sad, and angry at myself. Angry because I could be normal, I could feel good. Maybe at some I was so full of anger and self hate I may have thought I deserved it. Lime some for of punishment for being so awful.

Self harm is sort of a trap. Like drugs I guess. A way to escape what you are feeling and go to a different place. For me to get better I had to want to stop. Then I had to learn what was bothering me. Why I was feeling so sad and in so much distress. Once I figured that out I could start to work on my problems instead of trying to numb what I was feeling. If he can hold off for even an hour then it is progress.

Maybe make a journal, or talk to someone. Describe what you are feeling. What triggered you to want to self harm. Think of ways to fix or make better the thing that triggered you.

For myself, a really big one is loniliness. I can't stand to be alone. I don't mean in the physical sense but emmotional. If I don't have anyone I can connect with, then I start to feel really bad. Fears of rejection and abandonment are about the same way. Sometimes when I get triggered by things like that, I can't stop thinking about it. For me those times it is best to try and distract myself. Sometimes it is with games, or cleaning, or rising something, other times it is sleep.

When you want to self harm, and you know that you can't stop yourself, try to find an alternative. Some people hold ice cubes. Other take hot or cold showers. Punching a pillow or screaming may help. Even drawing on yourself. Seeing the marks drawn by a red pen or something may help lessen the urges.

It is very hard and scary. I remeber when I was bad, I barely could function. I was always depressed, and maybe the self harm stopped me from trying to end things. Try to find some help if you can. I connected with a good therapist and started doing some work on myself. Dealing with my problems and learning to understand what I was feeling. Talking to my therapist helped me at the time.

When I started to handle my problems and deal with issues that were bothering me, the urges weren't as strong anymore. I stopped for 8 years. I kinda screwed that up recently though, but I am still fighting the urges. That is a start. To be able to resist the urge to self harm.