don't like where My life has took Me

I spoke to My old therapist around 6 pm when I gave her a call I'm glad I called Her when I did cause She was about go
to Manhattatan (probally to the Theater)I told her everything that was going on with Me and She commented first that I sounded completly miserable I Miss My life before I got disabled.I miss work evan, a nother summer has ended anded what I used to do would be hanging out in front of the Bodega playing Dominos, and when it would get to hot
FDNY would turn on the fire hydrants and I would just pull a milk crate undernearth and enjoy that water know I'm living half a life, no freinds come or call,I'm just a loser
that why I want to realease this pain I hate My body being My enemy.every day I hope to feel better at least inside but now I just feel worthless and a few little cuts wouldn't hurt but they would I want to i know My prognosis.
I'm gonna be a head in a bed. yeah,I don't wanna go out like that it aint rite

Tita,

I really do feel for you. Your physical limitations are a big obstacle to being able to live your life the way you want to. Is there much chance of recovery?

No matter what is going on physically, or where you are living, if you are still here (meaning in this life) you still have developing and growth to do. Sometimes it's more of a challenge, but how can you find meaning in life as it is for you right now? What are some of the things that you can do?

Rap

Hi Rap.
I Think I need to pm u about My Diagnosis,and Prognosis.
I Do positive things for myself too.
I read and play video games I tring to get a good life together I'm just a failure at that somtimes cause I'm insane about things being organized.
I used to work for a commutor railroad until I was too disabled to work but that was the best 12 years of My life.
all My paperwork always was good.it always cheaked out.
now old life is gone and I'm stuck ina body that seems like it's having payback for what ever I done wrong.cuting makes me feel alive I cant work anymore Im just doing it to feel alive I tried speaking to My socail worker today and she say the dr. on My floor is gonna have to put in a referell
that mite take a month. thats why I am so upset latly
Crista

hi crista,
i signd on heer caus of my 22yr old son, mainly. and caus i'm goin crazy.
BUT i read abbout you. and thot i'd ask permissn to pm you, or hav you pm me. thot i'd put tthis out tther.....
i'm 37, wnt thru a 5 1/2 yr battl wth nonhodgkins lymphoma that invaded my lung and brain.
i liked role-playng games too.
i dont no reely wwhy i'm riting. i jjus tthot i mite be abl tto encurag you. thats all.
sendin you TONS of hugs frrom cincy, girl, truth!

sara