[sushislinger]

I'll keep it short. Its not about self harm with relation to feeling pain and enjoying it, as is normally the case. I have been home now for 2 days after spending 2 days fighting for my life in hospital. I hit a new low and basically emptied the contents of my medicine cabinet and supplemented it with a bottle of scotch. I'm still in pain, can't really hear much any more and light hurts my eyes. It sucks...

[Moodswing]

Oh boy have I been fighting the urge this past week to do just that. I am stock piling meds. Ambien, Xanax, tizanadine, flexoril, Atavan. I am so sorry. How has the aftermath been? That is what I am most afraid of. I have been there.

[sushislinger]

Well, honesty, its not fun. Did some severe damage to my kidneys which means I'm in pain a lot.
The antidepressants and the painkillers did the most damage, ears and eyes are a mess. I wasnt trying to kill myself, i just wanted to disappear in a haze, hoping that death would sneak up as a bonus. So stupid... Now its rehab 3 times a week and anti-biotics every day and im not allowed painkillers to numb the ache in my kidneys. Don't do it...

Now not only are your old problems still there but now you've got more piled on top! You just made things worse for yourself! So sorry to hear this! Sending hugs your way!