[CaitlinRose]

I used to cut myself in middle school and high school. I received help from a therapist and psychiatrist. I was able to refrain from injuring myself for several years. Recently I have been having a strong urge to begin to cut again. I have not, but I am afraid that I will not be able to keep myself from doing it. I have talked to my therapist and psychiatrist, but it is not helping me this time. I have just been feeling so worthless and inadequate. It's hard for me to feel okay about myself when I have grown up thinking I am ugly, fat, stupid, and crazy. My self esteem is so low. I rationalize the cutting by thinking I deserve it when I know that I don't. The voice in the back of my mind won't let me be happy. I don't know what to do.

[grey_aj]

Is there someone you can talk to other than a therapist + psychiatrist? Someone who knows you really well and you can share things with outside a clinical setting?

Doing something productive might help keep your mind off things.

- AJ

[CaitlinRose]

I have friends, but they don't really understand why I have the urge to harm myself. it's hard for me to reach out to them when I am afraid I will be judged or called crazy. I can usually distract myself with a book or a puzzle so I may try that.
Thanks for the advice.

[AnnaBegins]

Can you try holding ice? It hurts but it won't cause any permanent damage.

It's not ideal but if nothing else is proving to be enough of a distraction right now, it's better than cutting.

[CaitlinRose]

thanks for the idea. I will try that if nothing else works.