[x_BabyG_x]

With a vengeance!

Urges are sky high. Haven't SI'd in almost 3 years now. It's that bad tonight hat part of me is trying to talk myself in to it.i don't even care about the guilt that follows any more. Is it really that bad if I do? I guess I'm not recovered after all.

I thought I'd post on here first to see if it changes how I feel

[Sam2]

SI seems to creep up doesn't it? I'm two years out but still have times when I have to fight not to attack myself. I don't think it is something that you cure. Its more like an addiction. You are always in a state of recovery. That being said, if you give in to your urge, then it may all come rushing back, and the hard work you did to stop yourself from SI will go down the toilet.

Realize that it doesn't mean you are weak. SI is a symptom of a deeper problem, and it may be that something triggered urges. If you never resolved the underlying problm, its still haunting you. Some people drink, some take drugs, people like us punish outselves.

If you aren't already in therapy, get back into it. Something is wrong in your heart, and no one deserves to hurt like that.

Sam2

[x_BabyG_x]

Thank you for your reply and advice Sam. I'm currently on the waiting list to see my psych again.the urge lasted two full on days, I scratched but without leaving a mark, then talked myself out of it. I feel so much better these past two days! Been Put back on Prozac but its making the urges stronger and the anxiety worse whilst it kicks in