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#1
Aug 03, 2013, 10:41 AM
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The urge is seeping back in. I can feel it coming on. I hate the anticipation of the strike... I don't know how to change the course of things. But at least I know it's on it's way. I hate the struggle not to self-harm. I wish I knew how to stop it from coming back, but nothing I do seems to work. I just need to prepare for the inevitable return of urges. Does it ever get better? Or is this something I will fight forever?
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 WorkInProgress16
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#2
Aug 03, 2013, 02:34 PM
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Eventually things improve. But it takes time, and a lot of coping skills that will help to ease the urges. As for the second question, I'll leave that open for someone else.
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 ThisWayOut
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#3
Aug 03, 2013, 04:01 PM
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is it bad that I'm mad my blade is no longer sharp? It doesn't do any damage... I suppose it's good in terms of not allowing me to fulfill the SI urges, but it frustrates the hell out of me. I wanted the release. Can't even remember the trigger at the moment, just the frustration of not getting anywhere...
I feel so totally different than I did earlier today. I was on the happier side of things, then the sludge from behind the wall seeped through. I feel like a different person. This version of me sees no reason to stop. ugh! |
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#4
Aug 03, 2013, 04:52 PM
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I really suck at giving advice and comforting people. I can not see the forest through the trees right now.
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| ThisWayOut
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#5
Aug 03, 2013, 04:57 PM
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My boyfriend use to self harm and he always tells me it gets better and eventually the urges go away with time.
I myself have not gotten that far yet. I sincerely hope you choose to fight the urges and not give in.
__________________
The only difference between fiction and reality is that fiction has to make sense.
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#6
Aug 03, 2013, 09:54 PM
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Thanks for the kind words. Holdingfoff for tonight. People in rl are picking up on the shift in me. I don't want to worry them more than I already do. Just don't want to fight it either. How can someone go almost 2 years without, then not know how to make it through the day without it? I hate this!
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#7
Aug 03, 2013, 10:04 PM
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I know fighting urges is hard but sweetie it's worth it. I wish you the best. Maybe going to bed is your best bet.
__________________
The only difference between fiction and reality is that fiction has to make sense.
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#8
Aug 04, 2013, 12:43 AM
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I can't sleep. Took my anxiety meds. Took my sleep meds. Still wide awake... I tried distracting with music and a sleep track I have on my iPod, also not working. I don't want to take another trazodone because one normally kicks my butt for over 16 hours. I'm not sure why it's not working today. I don't want to sleep through all of Sunday, there's too many chores to do, I don't want to disappoint by not doing them. Also, it feels like it should be later than it actually is... my brain is still going a million miles a minute.
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| WorkInProgress16
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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