[correl/salvation]

so i'm cutting up paper in my bedroom right now
and i have a massive urge to get the scissors, make it so one of the points of the metal things are in my mouth and cut my lip open?
i feel such an urge to do this... i'm terrified in case i do it
what is this?

[Detia]

When I go through frightening urges like this I ask myself questions like:

"Why do I want to attack [particular spot you have the urge for, in this case:] my mouth?"
"What do I believe I have done to deserve this?"
"Do I really believe I deserve this?"
"Why?"

Sometimes I found that I wanted to attack certain body parts because in my mind they had a symbolic attachment to something I was upset about. I don't know if this is the case for everyone... For example I get the urge to harm my wrists (even though I never have) when I feel I am trapped or enslaved in some way. I have wanted to harm my throat when I have actually felt like I have used my words wrong, or no one is hearing me correctly.

The thing I realized is that I can follow through and give myself more pain, or I can find something to do in small baby steps that would give myself a slightly better feeling than what I have. Now when I get the urge to hurt my wrists I imagine the line turning into flowers growing on my arm and it's calming. Or I imagine a beautiful necklace around my neck.

I don't know what this is for you, sweet-heart... Only you can find out, and even if you never figure it out, you can do something to replace that urge.

So also ask yourself "What small thing can I do to feel better?", you don't have to achieve happiness, just better than where you are now.

Good luck, hon. I'm cheering for you.

[adam_k]

I find that the urges for me are strong when I am disappointed in myself. I feel like I have to hurt myself as some sort of punishment or a way to let out the angry I feel towards myself. It isn't all in rational thought and it is just a rush of emotion. It took me a while to learn how to process it.


Try thinking about what led up to these urges. Then maybe make some effort to find resolution to that event. That is a positive way to deal with it. I'd there was nothing that led up to it, try to distract yourself. I find sometimes I just get the urge to do it and waiting it out helps. If I give in to the urges I feel worse about myself once the numbess goes away.