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#1
Oct 06, 2006, 06:35 PM
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i feel like i'm going nuts, i just feel so tensed up and angry and memories from the past keep on playing in myself. i keep trying to remind myself i'm safe from my childhood now, that i have control now, but damn they are such bad memories i feel like i spent the majority of childhood and teenage years emotionally dead and only now have i come back to live and it STILL HURTS THAT I HAD TO GO THRU IT ALL DAMNIT!!! i hate my mother, mainly because she is soooo blind to all the hurt she has caused me. or do i just hate her illness? i dunno, cuz i dunno wat she's like underneath the illness, the bad stuff has been so strong. i feel like self-harming to let all the frustration out. but i'm experimenting with punching a pillow instead. it's amazing how long and how hardi can keep pounding the damn for...i really don't wanna SI, and i'm determined not too, but i'm afraid i mite just to get it out of my mind.
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"when you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hold on" |
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#2
Oct 06, 2006, 09:22 PM
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(((((((((((zombiette))))))))))))))))
Stay strong (I know you are) and try to take care of yourself. PM me whenever, I can just listen.
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#3
Oct 06, 2006, 09:45 PM
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That must feel awful, as hard as it is try to make the best choices. Do not let anyone cause you from not fulfilling your dreams! A good idea is to write in a journal daily. I hope you get some good ideas on PC and through the WWW. Best of luck!
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"It hit me like a ton of bricks!" 
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#4
Oct 07, 2006, 12:38 PM
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(((((((((((((zombiette))))))))))))))) I am glad you have found one outlet. Also journaling is something that I do all the time. Whatever you want to say. There is no right or wrong or good or bad in what you write it just is. Sometimes it helps to get everything out rather than pent up inside. It is just for you. No one else needs to see it. There are many suggestions at the top of t he board I believe. You may want to pick and choose those that may help you. Please take care of yourself. You are worth it.
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#5
Oct 07, 2006, 07:50 PM
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thanx u guys for ur support, it means a lot to me. i have been writing a fair bit lately and i do find that it helps as well, but i'm still feeling quite stressed out. i haven't SI'd yet tho, i still managing to stay away from that and i keep telling myself not to b/c in the end it doesn't actually help.
__________________
"when you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hold on" |
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#6
Oct 07, 2006, 11:53 PM
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(Need a thumbs-up smilie, lol)
Good for you for continuing like that. Really and truly, good for you. ((((((((((zombiette))))))))))
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