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  #1  
Old Sep 16, 2013, 07:42 AM
Anonymous100108
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Okay my fellow self harmers.... I am a cutter and I have always had this thing where I punch my head or bang it on something hard (when I get frustrated).

I realize that many of you are younger people (I am not). And I do not want to encourage any younger people to do something they will regret when they are older.

SO..... how about instead of cutting - you try some subtle hitting yourself. I will make a fist and take my knuckles and repeatedly bang the top of my head....

It works for me. Maybe it would be something that works for you....

Then again - I am nuts so.....

Last edited by notz; Sep 23, 2013 at 11:05 PM. Reason: added trigger icon

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  #2  
Old Sep 16, 2013, 08:21 AM
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Yes I am a head banger when I am in a cycle of self loathing, I am a loser, I am worthless, I will never be anything, I am an embarassedment, I am better off dead.

I used to burn but I am tired of the marks they leave so head bang works. Easier to hide.
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When a child’s emotional needs are not met and a child is repeatedly hurt and abused, this deeply and profoundly affects the child’s development. Wanting those unmet childhood needs in adulthood. Looking for safety, protection, being cherished and loved can often be normal unmet needs in childhood, and the survivor searches for these in other adults. This can be where survivors search for mother and father figures. Transference issues in counseling can occur and this is normal for childhood abuse survivors.
  #3  
Old Sep 16, 2013, 08:26 AM
Anonymous200280
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MoxieDoxie View Post
Yes I am a head banger when I am in a cycle of self loathing, I am a loser, I am worthless, I will never be anything, I am an embarassedment, I am better off dead.

I used to burn but I am tired of the marks they leave so head bang works. Easier to hide.
The initial post was not triggering for me but this post was extremely triggering. I didnt look across to see what forum it was in.
  #4  
Old Sep 16, 2013, 08:28 AM
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Originally Posted by Supanova View Post
The initial post was not triggering for me but this post was extremely triggering. I didnt look across to see what forum it was in.
OMG I am so sorry!!! I am a triggered mess today also.
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When a child’s emotional needs are not met and a child is repeatedly hurt and abused, this deeply and profoundly affects the child’s development. Wanting those unmet childhood needs in adulthood. Looking for safety, protection, being cherished and loved can often be normal unmet needs in childhood, and the survivor searches for these in other adults. This can be where survivors search for mother and father figures. Transference issues in counseling can occur and this is normal for childhood abuse survivors.
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  #5  
Old Sep 16, 2013, 08:32 AM
Anonymous37890
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I hit myself in the head too. Please know that this can be very dangerous.
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  #6  
Old Sep 16, 2013, 08:43 AM
Anonymous100108
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Originally Posted by roseleigh7 View Post
I hit myself in the head too. Please know that this can be very dangerous.
Thanks for your comment.... and I respect your opinion. HOWEVER, I disagree with you (and my shrink) that some head knocking is "dangerous".

Without being too argumentative.... HOW is it dangerous? No cuts, no bleeding. It is not an OD or a noose. It is simply knocking some sense back into myself or reducing stress/anxiety.

So I sincerely ask you... HOW is it dangerous?
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  #7  
Old Sep 16, 2013, 08:47 AM
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My T told me he has a client, whos wife, bangs her forehead on the coffee table until it bleeds! I do not bang my forehead. That would show a lump and bruise. I make sure I bang where my hair covers.
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When a child’s emotional needs are not met and a child is repeatedly hurt and abused, this deeply and profoundly affects the child’s development. Wanting those unmet childhood needs in adulthood. Looking for safety, protection, being cherished and loved can often be normal unmet needs in childhood, and the survivor searches for these in other adults. This can be where survivors search for mother and father figures. Transference issues in counseling can occur and this is normal for childhood abuse survivors.
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  #8  
Old Sep 16, 2013, 08:56 AM
dumburn dumburn is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Useless Me View Post
Thanks for your comment.... and I respect your opinion. HOWEVER, I disagree with you (and my shrink) that some head knocking is "dangerous".

Without being too argumentative.... HOW is it dangerous? No cuts, no bleeding. It is not an OD or a noose. It is simply knocking some sense back into myself or reducing stress/anxiety.

So I sincerely ask you... HOW is it dangerous?
There is always the possibility of concussion, and serious brain damage. If you hit you head hard enough to cause a bruise, that bruise is internal bleeding.

I've been a head banger since i was about 3 years old, when i was a teenager i cut for a few years but head banging is easier to hide and deny
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  #9  
Old Sep 16, 2013, 11:54 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Useless Me View Post
Thanks for your comment.... and I respect your opinion. HOWEVER, I disagree with you (and my shrink) that some head knocking is "dangerous".

Without being too argumentative.... HOW is it dangerous? No cuts, no bleeding. It is not an OD or a noose. It is simply knocking some sense back into myself or reducing stress/anxiety.

So I sincerely ask you... HOW is it dangerous?
Some people take it too far.

I think I get what you do. Just gentle knocking right? Maybe your knuckles are even loose when you do it? As a sort of distraction from the possibility of self harm? I could see how that could help. And if the person who self harms isn't a hitter, I'd definitely recommend it.

However, I get their point, too. As well as cutting, I hit as a form of self harm. Generally, my legs. Though, I've slapped my head repeatedly before.

So, I would say it all depends on the person. This may help others, may not help some.
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  #10  
Old Sep 16, 2013, 10:17 PM
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I find the initial post quite inappropriate. UselessMe has given an alternative to cutting, but not an alternative to self-harm. I don't think there is such thing as "subtle hitting". Any self-harm activity that involves your neck or above is extremely dangerous, costs you neurons, and is probably the most dangerous kind.

Everyone please take care!

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  #11  
Old Sep 16, 2013, 11:34 PM
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Silent_Tears_17 Silent_Tears_17 is offline
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I am super sorry this was triggering. But in the self injury forum that is honestly a very normal and "untriggering" post. It is indeed triggering but many of us have been doing/dealing with this for most of our lives.
In abuse forums, people will discuss abuse. If details are put in, or its graphic it will be considered a trigger. But if abuse is just mentioned it usually is not. I am really sorry that you were upset. I just hope this might help u understand why it was not origianlly marked.
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  #12  
Old Sep 16, 2013, 11:44 PM
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Silent_Tears_17 Silent_Tears_17 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Useless Me View Post
Without being too argumentative.... HOW is it dangerous? No cuts, no bleeding. It is not an OD or a noose. It is simply knocking some sense back into myself or reducing stress/anxiety.

So I sincerely ask you... HOW is it dangerous?
The problem with head banging is that it can cause much internal damage to your skull. For example, if I break my ankle it will show on an xray and it can be casted and heal. But if I just bruise it, it will not show on an xray. An MRI is needed for that and it takes much longer to heal.

You have probably heard of shaken baby syndrome where a baby is shook and their skull and brain hit and extensive damage can be done.

You can force yourself to binge and purge, swallow glass or other sharp things, or otherwise cause serious injury that cannot be seen. Just because you cannot see the bleeding does not mean it does not exist. And it is much harder to take care of internal bleeding.
If I cut myself, I can stop the bleeding, clean the wound, bandage it and keep it protected until it heals. If I force myself to repeatedly vomit, I can rip my stomach lining, cause internal bleeding, or even rupture my esophagus and I may not have any idea this is happening. And even if I were to start throwing up blood, I cannot fix that on my own. I would have to go to the ER.

Now, the argument could be made that hitting (thighs or arms) instead of cutting or burning is safer. Again this is debatable, but at least with thighs and arms you have a lot of fat and tissue to absorb the impact and you are not putting your brain at risk. I hope that this was not upsetting or graphic. I know everyone here is just trying to help people be safer.
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  #13  
Old Sep 18, 2013, 11:50 PM
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I am a head banger when I am very stressed. I also punch myself in the head as well as hitting it against a wall. I have never become unconscious from it. Though I have made marks and bumps from that. Its rare that I do it. I mainly cut. Its only when my symptoms become severe that I do this. Also this might be triggering to some people but in the past I have also used a hammer against my head. Never hard enough to cause serious brain damage. But when I am low enough or psychotic enough to actually go through with these actions, I end up in the hospital.
  #14  
Old Sep 19, 2013, 12:47 AM
Poppy Princess Poppy Princess is offline
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That sounds almost too painful. I sometimes slap my cheek.
  #15  
Old Sep 19, 2013, 03:11 PM
Anonymous100108
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For those of you who asked or commented on "how hard".....

Think of the times you went to someones house and the doorbell did not work and they had a heavy wooden door.

Kinda like that.

And I really *do* appreciate all the nice comments. But I still think that knocking is NOT harm....... I guess we will just have to agree to disagree on this one.
  #16  
Old Sep 19, 2013, 03:20 PM
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I think it's harmful but who I am to talk because it's something I've been doing for years. When I was 16 or 17 and unaware that I was mentally I would fly into these manic states and smash my head into a wall or street in order to try and knock myself unconscious. I still do the head bashing/punching my head more often than cutting because I can do it more easily around people. I can get a few good slams in before someone stops me but..i DEFINITELY believe this is not a safe way to self harm. No self harm is safe. It's just something we struggle with.
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  #17  
Old Sep 20, 2013, 02:50 PM
Anonymous100108
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I am.........
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  #18  
Old Sep 24, 2013, 06:55 PM
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June55 June55 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Useless Me View Post
Thanks for your comment.... and I respect your opinion. HOWEVER, I disagree with you (and my shrink) that some head knocking is "dangerous".

Without being too argumentative.... HOW is it dangerous? No cuts, no bleeding. It is not an OD or a noose. It is simply knocking some sense back into myself or reducing stress/anxiety.

So I sincerely ask you... HOW is it dangerous?


You lose 4% of brain cells every time you head the ball in soccer. It adds up. Yes brain cells can be rebuilt but it takes time. So I can understand why one would say it is dangerous. But is it less dangerous than something else?
  #19  
Old Sep 24, 2013, 07:27 PM
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Sterella Sterella is offline
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Useless, I have another method that might be helpful for you. When I feel an urge I will wait 20 minutes, and then, if I still feel like cutting I will, though I won't cut deep. I will cut maybe 4-5 shallow lines. Deep-cutting needs do arise, but normally I can curb over my need with the 20 minute method.

I'm not saying this will work for you, but it helps me a bit.
  #20  
Old Sep 25, 2013, 07:50 AM
Anonymous100108
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I never cut "deep" - so I think I am fine. Mine are just enuf to bleed. Typically they are kinda like tally marks. But lately I have enjoyed writing phrases too.
  #21  
Old Sep 25, 2013, 06:54 PM
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IchbinkeinTeufel IchbinkeinTeufel is offline
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No, substituting one form of self-harm for another, is no realistic solution. Besides, head trauma can be pretty dangerous. You'll need a better solution, I'm afraid, ... preferably one that doesn't involve hurting yourself. I actually started self-harming by thumping my arm until it resembled a lovely rainbow of colors, but eventually, my arm just became a bit numb and I couldn't feel it much, so I went to something else, ...

Self-harm of any psychologically unhealthy, well-recognised kind, is not acceptable.
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  #22  
Old Sep 26, 2013, 11:16 PM
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I have been hitting my self in the head since I was a kid. Very young 8 or 9 I think. I get so angry or frustrated that I ball up my fists and punch my head violently while screaming. I have not done this in a while thankfully. But from time to time I still do this. I don't know why. I just feel so worthless and stupid and don't know what to do. I have also banged my head into the wall and nearly knocked my self out. This is a very dangerous thing. I hate when I loose control.
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  #23  
Old Sep 27, 2013, 07:54 AM
Anonymous100108
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Sorry to hear of some you punching/hitting or whatever to the extent that you do/did it.

I guess for some people this could be a problem and cause damage. HOWEVER, I do it no harder than a good solid "knock on a wooden door" type hitting (and typically with my knuckles like when knocking on a door) or the occassional door jam.

I do not think MY way of doing it is harm. I think it is just "regulation". I guess I will just have to agree to disagree.
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