[dreamer62604]

Ok, mainly I just need to vent..and fill in some people...actually not even that. I don't really know what I need to do. WEll, I do, I need to cut. Which I have been doing more of lately, cut once last night, 2 times night before. I know this isn't much to many of u, but it is for me. I am wanting to cut again now...and probably will. But anyway, I had a really bad day, and have been feeling like [censored] all day. I had 2 tests today, and ended up missing 2 of my classes...(personal stuff)...anyway. I have to see my therapist tomorrow at 9. I'm really dreading it, I used to look forward to it, but now I'm to a point where I really don't think that she can help me. I don't think anyone can. I have gotten to a point where I realize what my problem is...and I am going to bury it...and just try to keep going. Anyway, just want to get some stuff out...sorry to waste ur time...

~Dreamer~

[b] I used to be so big and strong I used to know my right from wrong I used to never be afraid, I used to be somebody, I used to have something inside now it's just this hole that's open wide, I'll cross my heart I'll hope to die, but the needle's already in my eye, what I used to think was me is just a fading memory....--NIN [b]

[Rapunzel]

How did it go today? She can't help you if you don't give her a chance. If she really isn't listening to you, and you have told her all the important stuff, or at least really tried, then it is time to find someone else. Not every therapist is the right one for every client, but there is someone who can help you. Never give up - you'll make it. You have a bright future ahead of you, but first you have to deal with now. It is what you do now that will bring you the future that you have to look forward to you. It's just waiting for you to be ready.

<font color=orange>"Everyone has a need for significance; and if we can't make that possible, or even probable, in our society, then it will be obtained in destructive ways." -Rollo May</font color=orange>

[Zenobia]

First of all Dreamer, you are not wasting our time. This is what we are here for, if we didn't have the time to spend we wouldn't have spent the time reading your post. That may not sound like it but it is a verbal hug to let you know that I am glad that you posted and that you are looking seriously at your problem, that you are going to keep trying.

As far as nobody being able to help you, that is just your exhaustion talking. I have many moments when I am just so darn tired of it all, I just want to stop trying and stop seeing my T because he says the same things that just don't seem to work and can't he see it doesn't work? Isn't he listening? Don't worry to much about it. Keep pushing forward, a little at a time and you will find that things change even when it seems as if nothing is happening. One day you will go in to see your T and something will click and things will start to make sense-either for you or for her. Then the whole process lurches forward and you get a little better.
You are in my thoughts,
Carrie

[dreamer62604]

I went to see my T today, and the session went ok. But, we pretty much mutually agreed that i should start to seeing an "adult" therapist. See, she mainly deals with kids, and was gonna keep seeing me even though i've turned 18. well, apparently this isn't working. she's seen the progress that i made, and is having a hard time getting that i am back in a bad place. she doesn't want to think that i have regressed. so i need someone who hasn't seen all the progress, which i did make, but has faded away...anyway, we'll see what happens, i see my current t again on the 3rd, and we are gonna talk about my options then. anyhow, i think dinner's ready, so i should go, i prob won't be back tonight. bye bye.

[b] I'm alright...I'm alright...it only hurts when I breathe... [b]

[Zenobia]

I guess you were right, she wasn't listening...at least not getting it. I glad that she finally realized it. {{{{{{{Dreamer}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Carrie