[whiskeyprincess101]

I have a few questions...

1. How do you think people react to burns compared to cuts? Do you think there's any major difference?
2. What is the best way to take of second degree burns?
3. Can you get fired from work from having si marks? Or can they force you to get help?

Thank you.

[MusicLover79]

People seem to think burning is worse than cutting. I used to burn but I used a lighter and pin so it didn't seem that bad to me. The best way is to use aloe after a burn so that you don't get as bad of scars. That's for any kind of burn though. I dunno about the work thing. I would say don't SI though cause it sucks in the long run Be safe!

i cut.... no problems with that.

But burning sounds sooo intense. Too much for this wussy.

[BadWolf]

There are a lot of different temperatures that make a burn. What I mean is the burn caused by a red-hot pin is way more intense than one that has been in the flame for a few seconds. I have found that there is a range that can satisfy an SI urge for me, without leaving a long-lasting mark. Even a 2nd degree burn (a blister), if it is small is not noticeable like a cut is.

As for care, if the blister is intact, you dont really need to do anything. If it opens, keep it clean.

In my experience -

1. People are not as quick to judge you with burns as they are with cuts. Its not obviously self harm, burns happen accidentally all the time (but vertical cuts on your arms and legs do not).

2. Antiseptic cream if the blisters are open, this dries it out but it is needed to keep away infection. I never got infections from burns when using savlon on them. Keep them uncovered unless they are weeping so much that you cant. Aloe vera is great for burns too, I have used both.

3. It can be very very awkward at work. Best not to get into that situation. It really depends on your boss as to what happens. Just not worth risking your job over, there are other coping strategies you can try before turning to self harm, it is NOT the only answer and certainly not the best solution.

Everytime you choose the SI you are choosing the consequences, which can be a whole lot more than a little scarring.

[MoxieDoxie]

I used to burn with a straight curling rod. It looked like i had a fight with a heating radiator and that is how I explained it until I switched to banging my head instead. No longer had to explain the marks. Oh and I have not self harmed in 2 months.

[whiskeyprincess101]

Originally Posted by MusicLover79

People seem to think burning is worse than cutting. I used to burn but I used a lighter and pin so it didn't seem that bad to me. The best way is to use aloe after a burn so that you don't get as bad of scars. That's for any kind of burn though. I dunno about the work thing. I would say don't SI though cause it sucks in the long run Be safe!

It doesn't seem like that sometimes though, but maybe because I'm thinking more in the way of people who don't si.... because they probably just assume self injury is just cutting? Instead of people who actually self injure. Is it messed up to say, that... thinking about it, almost makes me feel worse about myself? Like even though it's obviously si... it doesn't seem like it sometimes? And it seems like I'm "weak." I was thinking more of preventing an infection but that also helps. Even though obviously I shouldn't, and I'm trying not to.

[whiskeyprincess101]

Originally Posted by Useless Me

i cut.... no problems with that.

But burning sounds sooo intense. Too much for this wussy.

Yeah to each their own.

[whiskeyprincess101]

Originally Posted by Supanova

In my experience -

1. People are not as quick to judge you with burns as they are with cuts. Its not obviously self harm, burns happen accidentally all the time (but vertical cuts on your arms and legs do not).

2. Antiseptic cream if the blisters are open, this dries it out but it is needed to keep away infection. I never got infections from burns when using savlon on them. Keep them uncovered unless they are weeping so much that you cant. Aloe vera is great for burns too, I have used both.

3. It can be very very awkward at work. Best not to get into that situation. It really depends on your boss as to what happens. Just not worth risking your job over, there are other coping strategies you can try before turning to self harm, it is NOT the only answer and certainly not the best solution.

Everytime you choose the SI you are choosing the consequences, which can be a whole lot more than a little scarring.

Yeah that makes sense. You can't really judge as much if you don't really see it or know what it really is. And that's only if the blisters are open right? But yeah I figured that much. Hence why I'm trying to avoid it, I'm just worried about one day slipping and my sleeve going down and them seeing. But I know there's an obvious way to prevent that. I wish there wasn't so much stigma around si and mental health.

[whiskeyprincess101]

Originally Posted by MoxieDoxie

I used to burn with a straight curling rod. It looked like i had a fight with a heating radiator and that is how I explained it until I switched to banging my head instead. No longer had to explain the marks. Oh and I have not self harmed in 2 months.

Gotcha.

Congrats on the 2 months anyways!

[tealBumblebee]

Originally Posted by Useless Me

i cut.... no problems with that.

But burning sounds sooo intense. Too much for this wussy.

Ditto.

In regards to work, I think as long as they are not "recent" there would not be a big deal over it. Besides, people have plenty of issues behind the work scene (i've had a coworker tell me they struggled with anorexia, we've had a few admitted for those "uncontained" psych moments and come back to work perfectly fine, etc.) My job says if you come to them with your problem before it causes a problem at work they will help you get help and keep your job.

I, however, am one of those people who give off the "she has happy little joyful life in her perfect little naive bubble" vibe. So, if they were to see my scars, it probably would become a big deal. But I work in an ER so I wear covering clothes anyway and the time I cut my fingers, the blade was sharp - so no one noticed, and the one that was a little open I just put a bandaid on and nothing was suspected. Depending on the vibe you give off though, i'd be selective about exposing scars to the public eye.

[MusicLover79]

Originally Posted by whiskeyprincess101

It doesn't seem like that sometimes though, but maybe because I'm thinking more in the way of people who don't si.... because they probably just assume self injury is just cutting? Instead of people who actually self injure. Is it messed up to say, that... thinking about it, almost makes me feel worse about myself? Like even though it's obviously si... it doesn't seem like it sometimes? And it seems like I'm "weak." I was thinking more of preventing an infection but that also helps. Even though obviously I shouldn't, and I'm trying not to.

So many people think of self injury of just cutting which makes me really mad. maybe that's why I started burning and not cutting. your not "weak" because of the method you choose. It is self harm, even if people don't think so. I just think more research and stuff has been done on cutting and not other forms of SI. idk. I SI so I don't commit suicide. With burning there's less of a chance of an accident, with cutting it's easy to make a mistake and cut a vein or something.

[00642]

I think if you cut, people see it as a "Oh, just another cutter" kind of thing and kind of gloss over it. It's weird to think that it can somehow have become some sort of weird-not-quite-norm thing. But if you burn and people see them or find it, they have more of a fascination with it because typically, it can look worse.
In my experience, I think burns get a bit greener looking than cuts and are more easily infected. It kind of depends what you do them with as well though. I used to do quite a lot with different things - cigarettes, curling irons and I only did it for that immediate singe of pain and the hotness of my skin compared to how I felt so numb otherwise. After I'd got my 'kick' out of it and my mind had settled down, I always regretted it because it hurt twelve times more than it did at the beginning and the marks were always there longer. After saying, "Oh, I caught it on the oven" or "Flipping hair curlers" a few times if they got spotted, people got suspicious 'cause cuts are a bit more 'everyday injury' than burns. I mean, you probably accidently burn yourself once a year on the oven door or something, yeah? But you walk past something and catch your arm on a tree or fence or scrape it on a wall or all that kind of stuff frequently, right? So, mhmm, I guess people did react differently to them. But the burns always seemed to 'repulse' people more than anything else and it just made me feel even worse.
I can't really help with taking care of them because I never did. I just left it alone. Maybe put a bit of antiseptic cream on if it looked a little too red around the edges but other than that, nothing.

[whiskeyprincess101]

Originally Posted by tealBumblebee

Ditto.

In regards to work, I think as long as they are not "recent" there would not be a big deal over it. Besides, people have plenty of issues behind the work scene (i've had a coworker tell me they struggled with anorexia, we've had a few admitted for those "uncontained" psych moments and come back to work perfectly fine, etc.) My job says if you come to them with your problem before it causes a problem at work they will help you get help and keep your job.

I, however, am one of those people who give off the "she has happy little joyful life in her perfect little naive bubble" vibe. So, if they were to see my scars, it probably would become a big deal. But I work in an ER so I wear covering clothes anyway and the time I cut my fingers, the blade was sharp - so no one noticed, and the one that was a little open I just put a bandaid on and nothing was suspected. Depending on the vibe you give off though, i'd be selective about exposing scars to the public eye.

I mean if they couldn't see but if they knew... as long as they were covered up, they couldn't make you show them and fire on that basis right? Not that I should be striving for that, but it's more so just cause I've had recent ones, not that I'm not planning on it, at least right now. But I guess that is the smart thing to do, if you realize it's getting to the point that it's effecting you badly, then you probably should. Do you know if most companies have that policy?

What do you think the worry about you or someone who's like you, who seems perfectly happy, exposing your scars compared to someone who's more usually "negative" seeming would be?

[whiskeyprincess101]

Originally Posted by MusicLover79

So many people think of self injury of just cutting which makes me really mad. maybe that's why I started burning and not cutting. your not "weak" because of the method you choose. It is self harm, even if people don't think so. I just think more research and stuff has been done on cutting and not other forms of SI. idk. I SI so I don't commit suicide. With burning there's less of a chance of an accident, with cutting it's easy to make a mistake and cut a vein or something.

Yeah it makes me mad too. Hence why I was asking, cause I've just always gotten this vibe that if you burn... it's lesser, you're lesser, etc. and it's not a good feeling, even though in my gut I know it's not true.

[whiskeyprincess101]

Originally Posted by 00642

I think if you cut, people see it as a "Oh, just another cutter" kind of thing and kind of gloss over it. It's weird to think that it can somehow have become some sort of weird-not-quite-norm thing. But if you burn and people see them or find it, they have more of a fascination with it because typically, it can look worse.
In my experience, I think burns get a bit greener looking than cuts and are more easily infected. It kind of depends what you do them with as well though. I used to do quite a lot with different things - cigarettes, curling irons and I only did it for that immediate singe of pain and the hotness of my skin compared to how I felt so numb otherwise. After I'd got my 'kick' out of it and my mind had settled down, I always regretted it because it hurt twelve times more than it did at the beginning and the marks were always there longer. After saying, "Oh, I caught it on the oven" or "Flipping hair curlers" a few times if they got spotted, people got suspicious 'cause cuts are a bit more 'everyday injury' than burns. I mean, you probably accidently burn yourself once a year on the oven door or something, yeah? But you walk past something and catch your arm on a tree or fence or scrape it on a wall or all that kind of stuff frequently, right? So, mhmm, I guess people did react differently to them. But the burns always seemed to 'repulse' people more than anything else and it just made me feel even worse.
I can't really help with taking care of them because I never did. I just left it alone. Maybe put a bit of antiseptic cream on if it looked a little too red around the edges but other than that, nothing.

Have people made it really apparent that they were disgusted? ): Like idgi. Where do people think they have the right to judge other's skin? But yeah I know what you mean about that stinging/burning sensation, I'm with ya on it. That's usually why I have too.

[Skywoulf]

I don't know about the SI part, but I have worked in an industrial kitchen where burns from first degree to severe second degree were common (at least to me. I was 45 before I found out I was clumsy) and a few years ago, a campfire got ahold of me leaving sever second degree burns up my arm from wrist to elbow. all this experience is to mention a few simple things.

1. as soon as you get burned get rid of the heat! COOL IT OFF! stick it under cold running water if at all possible.

2. for the first few days depending on how your body heals, keep the burn moist and cool as you can. blister or no blister. I had a blister as long as my arm, I kept it moist for the first 2 or 3 days then let it dry out because that is how my body deals with burn injuries. yes, I had this huge scab that looked like alligator skin, but it was healing, and stopped hurting after a day or so.

3. if you must use burn crème, the two best I have found are cold press aloe vera gel (store bought or from the plant) and prescription Silveden crème. (not sure how to spell it, but that is what the name sounds like) this stuff ROCKS in the pain/heal department! I was prescribed this when I had an old fashioned M-80 try to blow my hand off back in the '70s (now THAT was a burn! lol)

[MusicLover79]

Originally Posted by whiskeyprincess101

Yeah it makes me mad too. Hence why I was asking, cause I've just always gotten this vibe that if you burn... it's lesser, you're lesser, etc. and it's not a good feeling, even though in my gut I know it's not true.

It's hard. but I don't think it means that your lesser. Self injury is such a complicated thing and I don't think people should think lesser of you because of it or the way that you choose to do it. hmm

[Skywoulf]

a quote I once saw paraphrased:

"Breaking down does not mean you are weak,
it means you were too strong for too long."

[tealBumblebee]

Originally Posted by whiskeyprincess101

I mean if they couldn't see but if they knew... as long as they were covered up, they couldn't make you show them and fire on that basis right? Not that I should be striving for that, but it's more so just cause I've had recent ones, not that I'm not planning on it, at least right now. But I guess that is the smart thing to do, if you realize it's getting to the point that it's effecting you badly, then you probably should. Do you know if most companies have that policy?

What do you think the worry about you or someone who's like you, who seems perfectly happy, exposing your scars compared to someone who's more usually "negative" seeming would be?

I feel like someone who seems perfectly happy would get a bigger reaction that someone who usually seems negative. They'd both get concern, but I just feel that i'd be questioned more because it would be thought to be "unlike me".

I don't know if all companies have that policy but I make sure to go to HR and read through their policies when I have time with every job. Knowledge is power.

I don't think they would see scars and fire you on the spot. However, depending on the people you have over you - they could interpret self harm as an inability to be able to manage/cope with stressful situations which could result to you losing your job in a "covering our own butts" kind of company.

Lastly, from what i've learned working at the hospital - if someone asks you to show your scars you have the right to refuse. Granted, they may try to match your level of stubbornness, but they can not legally force you to strip unless you're being like arrested or something.