Truth is....

There are good days and bad days I have had them all just like anyone...on the god days I get up and smile and joke around and on bad days I do the same having depression with SI for some is like a show, your playing a character that you can't break because of the attention it might get you. I know what it's like to live everyday pretending... hurting and still keep going you make it through. There are times when I wonder what will be the end that makes me finally give up but I think of all the things I have been through and made it to this point there is still an emptiness inside I am not sure I will ever fill. I feel it ease some when I SI but it comes back with a vengeance...I am having a night tonight... wanting to ease my pain by causing more to make myself not feel so out of control due to my emotions. If your having a night like I am...know your not alone...I'm trying to stay strong for the people I care about and want in my life even if a part of me wants to not be here.

You know I could have written this myself! I hope you got through the night ok