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#1
Nov 18, 2013, 10:14 PM
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__________________
When a child’s emotional needs are not met and a child is repeatedly hurt and abused, this deeply and profoundly affects the child’s development. Wanting those unmet childhood needs in adulthood. Looking for safety, protection, being cherished and loved can often be normal unmet needs in childhood, and the survivor searches for these in other adults. This can be where survivors search for mother and father figures. Transference issues in counseling can occur and this is normal for childhood abuse survivors. |
 byfnvy
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#2
Nov 19, 2013, 04:14 PM
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My husband knows I cut because he can see the scars but I will not tell him about the pills. Only my therapists know about that.
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#3
Nov 19, 2013, 07:15 PM
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My friends know. Some are more accepting than others, and the ones who accept it are the ones i trust the most. The only member of my family that knows is my dad, and i told him he could tell my mom when he was ready, because she is one of those people that flies off the handle. I wish i wouldnt have told him though.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
__________________
I am not this hair, I am not this skin. I am the soul that lives within.
Prozac 40mg, Neurontin 400 mg TID, Remeron 45mg depression, anxiety, borderline, social phobia, ed nos, self injury. |
| tealBumblebee
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#4
Nov 19, 2013, 08:16 PM
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Funny you should post this.... I've been trying to come up with a way to tell my bf for the past 6 months or so ... it's not something that is current for me any more... but I know it will still freak him out
 And I'd rather be the one to tell him as opposed to him seeing it one day and freaking out....
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The unexamined life is not worth living. -Socrates |
| beloiseau, tealBumblebee
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#5
Nov 19, 2013, 08:20 PM
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Quote:
My T knows and one friend (who's not my best friend - bestie doesn't know). Neither of the two will tell anyone and both are willing to listen if i'm struggling although I told friend i'd rather not talk to her about it since I have T. She said it was my life/my choice but as long as I was talking to someone about it. Far as I can see, no one else needs to know. 
__________________
A majorly depressed, anxious and dependent, schizotypal hypomanic beautiful mess ...[just a rebel to the world with no place to go...  ]
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#6
Nov 19, 2013, 08:23 PM
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I wish I knew how to tell people this and more. I dont really have people who are that understanding around me. I told my best friend a few years ago but she has never brought it up again since. Otherwise I have found it difficult to let anyone else now, especially my family. I know they would go crazy over it and my mom especially would make me feel even worse for doing it. Guilty even.
Sent from my GT-I9500 using Tapatalk |
| tealBumblebee
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 tealBumblebee
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#7
Nov 19, 2013, 08:58 PM
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Quote:
 Everyone I've ever told has also never brought it up again...It's so hard to deal with because it's so hard to understand. You're not alone.
__________________
I am not this hair, I am not this skin. I am the soul that lives within.
Prozac 40mg, Neurontin 400 mg TID, Remeron 45mg depression, anxiety, borderline, social phobia, ed nos, self injury. |
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#8
Nov 19, 2013, 09:04 PM
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Yeah. I make it a point not to remind either.
My mom I dont know if she thinks its her fault or not. I honestly thing she would try to find any other excuse or person to blame before herself, although a big factor of my issues is her. She is not a bad mom, but she just grew me up to be so fragile but at the same time expecting me to be strong somehow. Of course it doesnt help that she is heavily involved in church and therefore if I mention any type of mental illness it would be like the worst, most shameful thing in the world Sent from my GT-I9500 using Tapatalk |
| tealBumblebee
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#9
Nov 19, 2013, 10:51 PM
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Only my T's have known most of it. Was even ashamed they knew. But when I stated the PHP in group, they were aware of it because it had been discovered when I was in the psych ward. They kept pushing me to disclose so that others who did it could benefit. What a load of BS. No one ever admitted doing anything similar or supported me in group. There was only one time someone even seemed to be interested enough to ask questions and didn't make me feel like a freak. She said she had never done it to herself, but had often done it to others. A couple months later, she began to do it to herself. I've always blamed myself for that. Yes, it was her choice, but maybe if I'd kept my mouth shut, she would have never seen it as an option.
Told my best friend and he was convinced it was a suicidal gesture and was convinced that I was trying to kill myself. And nothing I said to him could convince him otherwise. When he was psychotic, he obsessed over it to the point I had to stay away so he would focus on himself and not what he thought I would do. If I had it to do all over again, my therp would be the only one I would tell. |
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#10
Nov 20, 2013, 03:08 AM
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I have told my therapist, my dance teacher/main support person, my best friend that I have known forever, and my aunt... All of them promised not to tell my mother, so long as it's not with suicidal intent...
If I could do it over, I wouldn't have told my therapist... I know it's stupid, but she basically blew me off anyways, which triggered even more... We have talked about it since, and she said her goal was to not make a big deal out of it, because she didn't want to make it sound like something that was absolutely terrible that I should feel bad about... Once we got through that conversation, though, we really haven't talked about it since... She wants me to bring it up on my own if I want to talk about it, so with the exception of asking about my suicidal feelings, she usually doesn't bring anything up unless I do... I was lucky enough to have a best friend who has been through hell and back with a family in which everyone has some mental illness, including a few people who SI, so she was very understanding, and I knew that I could trust her with it, and she came to my house and helped me clean out my room of everything sharp so I couldn't cut, and went so far as to take my xacto knives to her house to hold for safe keeping, and the only time I am allowed to use them is with her with me, or if I'm at her house with someone else around... My dance teacher was also very supportive, and has been helping me come up with different ways to cope and has been wonderful about not getting upset at me when that idea didn't work, and guiding me to keep on chugging so I can be okay again.... I don't see my Aunt much, but I talked to her because I promised that I would go to someone in my family, and I am closer to her than just about anyone else... We talk at least a few times a week, for her to check in and such.... I got lucky...
__________________
“Happiness can be found in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light" |
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#11
Nov 20, 2013, 01:34 PM
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I must be weird.... (okay that is a DUH statement - I KNOW that I am weird).
But outside of my kids - I do not *care* if anyone knows. I do NOT cut where people can see (so they do not freak) - but if I was asked - I would not care one bit. |
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#12
Nov 20, 2013, 01:55 PM
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My friends and T know. My friends are not really accepting of it and some think I'm stupid for doing it...
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#13
Nov 20, 2013, 08:40 PM
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I wish no one knew, but living in a hot country means everyone can see my scars. I have to come up with a lot of excuses but I doubt Im believed. I'd never ever tell anyone if I had the choice.
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| tealBumblebee
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#14
Nov 20, 2013, 09:02 PM
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Anyone else head bang......i do for two reasons. First so i do not have to hide scars and two it is so painful it immediately distracts from the horrible feelings i am avoiding and it only takes 5-8 slams to do the job. Ok so I have to deal with bruises and big lump on my forehead but my bangs cover it. My T's do not even know that is how I self harm. They think I still burn. Today was a bad self harming day. I deal with a Gas-lighting bullying coworker.
__________________
When a child’s emotional needs are not met and a child is repeatedly hurt and abused, this deeply and profoundly affects the child’s development. Wanting those unmet childhood needs in adulthood. Looking for safety, protection, being cherished and loved can often be normal unmet needs in childhood, and the survivor searches for these in other adults. This can be where survivors search for mother and father figures. Transference issues in counseling can occur and this is normal for childhood abuse survivors. |
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#15
Nov 21, 2013, 02:19 AM
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No one knows. I've kind of thought about telling people, but I'm just scared that they'll be mad at me or think it's just for attention.
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| Catsarecool
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#16
Nov 21, 2013, 01:41 PM
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#17
Nov 21, 2013, 06:25 PM
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Quote:
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
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