[SheHulk07]

My crisis therapist said she wants me to throw away my pills but I'm reluctant to do so. On one hand I do and I've done it before. But on the other hand I want them just in case Im done. I told her this and she said she can't make me do anything but that she's worried about me taking too many when I have a panic attack. So she's giving me more resources to try to stay away from the pills. I see my regular therapist tomorrow and the crisis one again on Wednesday before thanksgiving. After that I'm on my own for the week.

[tealBumblebee]

I can't "make" you throw them away either, and I do understand why you would want to keep them - so how about meeting in the middle. Pull a few of them aside (enough to be safe but also effective), store them seperately and make the rest inaccesible at least for the week (i.e. lock them in a safe and give someone else the key, give them to T wed. to hold, leave with a friend, etc.). Maybe that way you can appease both parts of you? Hope this helps.

[SheHulk07]

I don't know why I'm having such a difficult time with this. I've thrown away pills before because I was worried about taking them. Now taking them seems like it could be a relief if that makes sense.

[SheHulk07]

I didn't throw them away but I did take them all out of my purse for now and put them up. I know it's not the same thing but it's something and that's all I can do today.

[SheHulk07]

I told my T today about the pills, and of course he said he wished he could make me throw them away, but he can't. But he's glad I put them up for now, and make sure I try other coping skills this weekend if I drink.

He also asked me now that I've done both the pills and cutting in the same week which one I get more relief from...my answer...the pills. *Sigh*