[skywalker1988]

Hey everyone. I'm new to the forum. While I know this part is labeled self injury, I wanted to let you understand that I do not remember this happening to be honest. Let me explain.

2013 I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. I've went through 5-6 MRIs, a spinal tap, more than 30 blood tests/tubes taken out of me, going to doc to doc. Then I was undiagnosed with MS, and now still going through more tests from another doctor to figure out what I have.

I've had more health issues come up recently, and I just have been an emotional wreck to be honest. I learned that I do not have multiple sclerosis, however they are not sure as to what I have. So I went to another doctor, and I am waiting for some test results now as we speak. The weekend before Christmas something happened that I've never went through before. The night before Christmas I was told what apparently happened to me, since I have no recollection.

I overdosed on my medication that knocked me out for 4 nights. Sat nite to Tues night. Please don't misunderstand this as a suicide attempt, because honestly...I don't remember if it was or not. All I know is that my mother and grandmother told me that I basically slept for almost 4 days, they had to help me go to the bathroom - in which I don't remember any of this. I haven't told my doctor this either yet, but I will when his office opens soon.

I'm not sure how I'm still alive - or how it even happened. The symptoms I've had for last few months is a lot of body twitching.. Feels like my body is vibrating. And for the last three days, I've had a major headache, plus my blood pressure has been so high. I'm on blood pressure medicine, and I've taken tyenoyl but since the OD, that's all I've taken. Scared to take anything else to be honest.

I feel horrible right now. My head has been hurting for the last 3 days, my bodys twitching vibrating more often. Just unsure what to do right now.

[smmath]

You went through a horrible ordeal. Even if you don't remember it, your body is experiencing side affects. You're safety and health is the most important thing. I think you should go to the ER and see a doctor× as soon as possible.

Another thing to think about is why did you take those pills. In all honesty it seems like you attempted suicide and the drugs effected your memory. Have things been rough for you lately? Before the OD have you been feeling mentally stable? I ask because I am worried that the reasons why you took the meds might come back and overwhelm you. I have no medical knowledge, so I could be waaay off base. I want you to be safe.

Please message me if you want to talk about anything.

[skywalker1988]

Thank you for your response.

Well, I've had a hard life, and I don't want people to think that I'm selfish when I say that. I understand that other people has went through worse. I'm just talking about my own personal experience regardless of anyone else.

My mom and dad got divorced when I was a young age. Spent most of my childhood being raised by my mother and grandmother. My dad had got into drugs and alcohol and for the most part of my childhood I had to visit him either at his dads, rehab or prison. The good part though is I really got close to him the last few years when he was drug free. He died though in 2011, and was the first unexpected death I experienced. He went to sleep to never wake up again. Even the autopsy showed no drug use, just a worn out body at the age of 45.

I got married in 2008, and my relationship with her before then was great. I did everything for her. I pleased her more than I was pleased both love and sexually. When we got married though, she seemed to change. I don't know why, and I asked her many times but she really didn't have an answer. Our sex life went from great in dating to sucky in marriage. I felt like after a long period of time that she was just using me. I felt as though no matter what I did, I couldn't please her. So in 2012, I snapped. I left her. 9 months before this though, we had got 2 foster children. Which I told her before even considering it that I didn't want children. I can't have children physically anyway per the doctor. She can't have children because of her size.

But finally I gave in and we had got a brother and sister of 10 and 6 years old. Bad mistake. I mean I love the kids, don't get me wrong. But raising kids? That is not me. But anyways in 2012, I snapped and left her because I was tired. I travelled for 2 months, and then came back and got the divorce finalized. Well, after this, I started hurting and had to get 2 surgeries back to back from Sept-Oct. 2nd surgery was worse than the first pain wise. I had a job still, and when I returned to work, I didn't do so good and I was so emotionally tore up from everything in the past years that I told my job I was sick again, and they said ok.

Then I told my pastor that I wanted to kill myself, but not really. I just wanted attention. Well I got it alright. He told me to go through the hospital in which I ended up staying 8 hours there in a locked room, and then transported to a crisis unit for 3 days. Hell on earth. I never want to go back there ever. They don't care about you at all. They lie to you.

I got out, and I ended up getting a new job. Things were good from then on out to 2013.

In Jan 2013, I snapped again. But this time I decided to see my doctor. He had told me I had bipolar disorder. He put me on some meds but they didn't really help any. Later on, I was undiagnosed from bipolar by the same doctor because in Feb 2013, I started having double vision, and while driving one day I almost wrecked so I went back to the doctor.

I ended up having to see a neurologist. After MRIs and test, he ruled that I had multiple sclerosis. So I started therapy shots which were more of a pain than the symptoms. And finally after 3 months of it, my family doctor took me off of it. This is when I decided to see another neurologist. When this took place, they did more MRIs, spinal tap, blood work etc...Till finally after another few months, they ruled I didn't have MS. So they told me to go to another doctor to find out whats wrong.

Well I did - and this doctor is in my town and not far off thank God. I just got to him in the last 3 weeks. Prior to him, I was prescribed the Zoloft and Pamelor for Depression and Sleep. And then when I went to this new doctor, he was going to wean me off of Zoloft, and put me on Celexa and Xanax. It had been a while since I taken Pamelor for sleep because it didn't work IMO.

He prescribed the meds on the Friday before Christmas. I had the OD the Saturday before Christmas. I'm not sure still why I took the pills other than maybe either I wanted to stop hurting, I wanted to kill myself or possibly both.

For the last few days, I've had a headache everyday, plus my body twitches are getting worse - which no one seems to understand why they are happening. These twitches have been happening ever since I had one MRI done with contrast.

My emotions are really bad and depressing. I feel hopeless because every where I've turned for all my life it seems has always ended bad. I just don't understand why this is happening to me. I search for answers, but after 20 years plus - I haven't found them yet.

Also, I wanted to say that I had those blood tests done last Friday, so they were done almost a week after the OD. Don't know if anything will show up. I just want answers of why am I hurting physically and emotionally?

For most of my life, I've been bullied and looked down upon. I'm not a fighter by no means. I just let anger build up inside of me. I don't like to hurt people - I'm just not that type of person. I tend to stay alone now since my divorce. I don't really have a lot of friends, and I get mad at that point because I have friends from church but when I was sick all last year I hardly had anyone visit me.

i haven't been able to work since Jan 2013. I was going to get a job few weeks ago or so, but my health is just so bad right now I can't handle it.

I'm just at a place where I feel numb and angry, and I really don't know what to do anymore.

[skywalker1988]

I need help

Can you go back to your doctor and explain what happened and that you need more support?

[skywalker1988]

I will be going next week, possibly as early as Monday.

Do you have any advice for me health wise?

Well make sure you tell him everything, if anything he will hopefully reduce the amount of meds he gives, I only ever get a week at a time because of my history at least then there will be less risk of you doing the same again

Healthwise I'm not sure. Have the twitches got worse since the OD and the headaches? I know you said you had a blood test after the OD but if they were testing for other things maybe they wouldn't be looking for other damage. It might be worth mentioning that and going to the hospital to get yourself properly checked out if things still aren't improving.

Other than that I guess you gotta stay strong, keep getting tests done and find out what is actually wrong with you so they can treat you for it.

[Grey Matter]

I am so sorry things have been hard for you. I overdosed four or five months ago due to health scares and anxiety, and it's horrid.

Health wise, is there a clinic you can get to? It's good to have blood work done (though I know you're sick of it, trust me, I know). If you don't want to explain to a stranger that it was an OD, simply say it was an accidental medication overdose and you're just concerned with the side effects. If you had bloods done and it wasn't specifically for the OD, they wont be looking for certain things that could happen after an OD. My blood work was drastically different after my OD, looking for certain enzymes, etc.

Definitely reach out to your doctor and explain what happened. A physical will be good too. After my OD I had blood work, a physical, and a referral to my therapist to increase therapy time to twice a week.

Take care.

[reesecups]

I am not a medical professional, do not know your location or your belief system, but have you thought about seeing an MD that practices Integrative Medicine? They DO believe in pharmacological meds when absolutely necessary, but practice healing the whole body as well believing in finding causes for your problems and not just treating the symptoms. I was in poor health for years, and last year, moved to Southern California. Found an Integrative Doctor at my sister's suggestion and felt, for the first time, someone gave a damn. Lots of tests? Yes. Lots of changes in diet, etc. It has not eliminated all of my problems but I'm physically in a better place than I was before going.

Sometimes Western medicine does not have answers. So they treat symptoms, assume it's all in your head, etc. please don't give up hope. Good luck!