[SheHulk07]

Since my surgery 3 weeks ago, I haven't si'ed or od. Until last night and I took 10 Ativan. I tried everything I could think of, cleaning, reading a book, music, laundry, calling crisis lines. But nope, after everything was done I still was feeling overwhelmed, exhausted and guilt is eating me alive so I took the pills. Now what? I guess I come still call my crisis line and let them know what I did, I don't think they can do something after the fact, right???

I'd been wondering how you were getting on Thats great you lasted 3 weeks, I know how hard things have been for you. And also well done for trying everything you could think of to prevent it, I know I don't always. Try not to beat yourself up over giving in, the fact is you tried That takes a lot of strength

[SheHulk07]

These last few weeks have been hard, though not as hard as the weeks before my surgery. It's just been one health problem after another these past few weeks. Yesterday morning I went to take my husband to work, came home and fell asleep, and when I woke up I couldn't remember ever taking him in the first place. I know obviously I did, but I can't remember the specific details. I've never had that happened and worried me, so I guess I'll tell my t about it today.

That does sound scary. Sorry things haven't been running smoothly since the surgery. Are you recovering ok now?

[SheHulk07]

I'm still recovering from all the complications. Better than i was last week, but still am having a lot of problems. It's mentally and physically exhausting.

[mazing]

It definitely sounds like you have had a rough few weeks. I definitely agree with secretwhisperer - try not to be too hard on yourself. A few weeks is a great achievement and we all fall at times. You tried everything you could - that is a great thing. Even though it didn't work you still tried.

I'm sorry to hear you still aren't feeling well. Talking to your T sounds like a good idea.

[SheHulk07]

Thanks, I'm trying to not be so hard on myself about it. I told my new T about it at our first session and she just asked me to agree to call if I get to that point again. And I see my other T on Friday, and I'll have to tell him because he asks at every session now.

[SheHulk07]

I told my T about it on Friday, and how I barely remembered any of it. He had to remind me that I did call the crisis line, but then asked what I expected to do about it, and he seemed frustrated that I didn't tell the person ihas taken anything, even though I took it after the fact.

Today I haven't reached out at all to either of them, which is supposed to be my crisis plan.

You say you're supposed to reach out as part of your crisis plan, does that mean you're at risk or already have SI'd? Maybe if the urges are there then you should reach out to them. s to you. Sending strength your way

[SheHulk07]

I reached out yesterday after I overdosed again. Drove myself to the ER and was put on a mental health hold until the crisis therapist could get there and do an eval and send me home a few hours later.

[puzzclar]

You reached out. There is hope out there. You used a skill of asking for help.

Sent from my SCH-I535 using Tapatalk

[SheHulk07]

Thanks. I have an appointment today with my dr, a pdoc and one of my therapist. I'm just trying to get through this all.