[ImNotHere]

So I have self injred since I was 12, I am 24 now. Over the last few years it hasn't happend as much. I recently started seeing a therapist and recently self harmed and she made me very upset.

I still live at home with my parents (moved back a year ago) and I listed my mother as my emergency contact on the therapists form. Our first meeting I told my therapist I recently self harmed but do not have suicidal thoughts. She did something that really threw me off. She said well I may have to tell your mother about this?

I am like wtf. I am 24 years old, an adult, not suicidal, my cuts were on my leg at that time and she says she might tell my mother? Can she do this?

Now I feel I cannot trust her with anything if she is going to threaten me like some child. I thought that she would have to keep this private? can she do this? I don't want my family to know because frankly it is none of their damn business.

Should I talk to her about this? what should i say to my therapist?

[kaliope]

since you are an adult, there is no reason she should be telling your parent. she may be going on the assumption that you are a danger to yourself, therefore she has to notify someone, but that is typically to do a legal hold on you. but different people may have their own understanding of this. as you live in your mothers home..and are you still on her insurance? she may feel your mother is responsible for you and your care, thus urging you to get further treatment.

I would definitely talk to her about this as you cant have an open and trusting relationship with her otherwise. ask her her reasoning for wanting to report to your mother. stress that your mother does not make decisions for you after hearing her out and how this threatens your relationship. confidentiality says she tells no one unless you have signed a release saying she can. the emergency contact is not that release. the hippa release allows her to do so.

[ImNotHere]

I am not on my mothers insurance and not under my mothers care. We just share a house that is it. I do feel like i cannot trust her anymore and am super annoyed with her. I am not a danger to myself as I do not cut often anymore and am not suicidal.

She told me that if I became suicidal that she would be allowed to tell my emergency contact so they could get me help. But I don't remember telling her she could tell my emergency contact anything besides if I am suicidal or a risk to myself. How am i a risk to myself if the cutting took place days ago and i don't cut often?

I will speak with her tomorrow about this and am not really looking forward to the conversation.

Thanks for the advice

[BuckVet09]

By law in the US, they have notify the authorities if your therapist believes you are a danger to yourself or to society. This is sort of a catch 22 situation. I don't know why they would say they might have to call your mom? I'm guessing maybe its a scare tactic or something. Good luck

[ImNotHere]

Yea a scare tactic but is she even allowed to do that? I thought therapists have rules where they can not give out any personal information unless you are a danger to yourself or others, i was not suicidal/am not, the cuts were on my legs from days before the actual appointment, so is it even appropriate for her to threaten this?

I will talk to her tomorrow about this and i hope i don't go off on her and get angry.

if worst comes to worst, their's always the option of finding a new therapist

i had an experience 1 time- the exact same thing as you

we ended up not trusting each other and i stopped seeing her afterwards

[tealBumblebee]

I'm so sorry to hear that. I'm 26 and in a very similar situation (age, at home, mom as contact, self injurer) but I have absolutely no idea why she would feel the need to tell your mother, nor do I think it was 'serious of a situation enough' for her to suggest it. Is she a fairly new T? Has she dealt with self injury before?

Did you mean that she actually said that at the actual first session? Honestly, this may not be the best advice, but I don't actually think I would be able to trust her after said threat and would find another T whose idea's of therapy were more similar to the type that could help me.

My T tells me all the time the she knows that self harm is not the same as being suicidal. I went for months not telling her things of that nature despite her asking and it wasn't until we had a heart to heart break it down to specifics on what I would have to do/say to be admitted before I really began to open up to her. Perhaps you should address with T her views on self injury, suicidal ideation, the mental health system, admittance to hospitals etc. before offering any more information and then decide if she is, indeed, the right T for you?

I would caution you to be weary as she seems to be a bit irrational, imo.

[ImNotHere]

Yes she said that at the first session. Basically the conversation was like this:

-Do you have any cuts on you now from self harming yourself, I said yes from a few days ago (they weren't even bad cuts) she said well I might have to tell your mother about that. I said no, don't do that, I am not suicidal. She eventually agreed not to but I just find it inappropriate to threaten to tell my mother since I am an adult.

and you are right, now I do not feel comfortable telling her things, I do not trust her and it is really leading to ineffective therapy.

She also dismissed that I may have BPD/Bipolar within the first hour (i know i am not bipolar but think I may have BPD) and that irritates me too because then I am receiving the help I need.

I see her today and I really don't think one hour is going to be enough for all I have to say to her. I just hope I can hold it together and not get too angry or irritated with her. If tonight doesn't go well I will start looking for someone new.

thanks everyone!

Originally Posted by ImNotHere

Yes she said that at the first session. Basically the conversation was like this:

-Do you have any cuts on you now from self harming yourself, I said yes from a few days ago (they weren't even bad cuts) she said well I might have to tell your mother about that. I said no, don't do that, I am not suicidal. She eventually agreed not to but I just find it inappropriate to threaten to tell my mother since I am an adult.

and you are right, now I do not feel comfortable telling her things, I do not trust her and it is really leading to ineffective therapy.

She also dismissed that I may have BPD/Bipolar within the first hour (i know i am not bipolar but think I may have BPD) and that irritates me too because then I am receiving the help I need.

I see her today and I really don't think one hour is going to be enough for all I have to say to her. I just hope I can hold it together and not get too angry or irritated with her. If tonight doesn't go well I will start looking for someone new.

thanks everyone!

i hope that in your next appointment you will get more than just the feeling of untrusting her

good luck...

[ImNotHere]

well it did not go well. She basically said she did not mean it as a threat but she has a responsibility to try to keep me from harming myself in case one day i go to far. She said there is nothing she can do about it.

Today sucks.

[tealBumblebee]

Originally Posted by ImNotHere

well it did not go well. She basically said she did not mean it as a threat but she has a responsibility to try to keep me from harming myself in case one day i go to far. She said there is nothing she can do about it.

Today sucks.

Well, there are others that are a little more lenient on that rule. Hopefully you can find a more open minded T because I don't see you being able to be fully honest with her which in turn, can not be healing.

[Fuzzybear]