[smud]

I am a new member here, i've never talked about SI with anyone, i stopped a while ago (for now), it was never bad, but here is the thing.... I need advice now, because i fell today and accidentally bashed my wrist on a wall (depakote messes with my body), adding to the cut on the same left wrist i accidentally got this morning at the gym... it looks so bad. So i am figuring my tdoc will see it tuesday, and what if i can't convince him that it was an accident... i am not ready to tell him that i used to do it, he asks about it anyway for some reason and i deny, deny .... please, if you can give me some advice on telling him or not telling him.... can he legally tell my mother about it?.... i am going so numb that it makes me want to do it now after all this time... please respond and tell me how you handle situation like this. I am glad to be a new member!!!!

[Zenobia]

Welcome Smud,
I am glad you found us. Awhile back, I cut my hand while doing dishes, I had to get stitches and had to keep my hand wrapped in bandages for a few days--doctor's order. Anyway my T saw the bandages and of course assumed that I did it on purpose. It felt cruddy having him just assume that even though he had cause since I am a regular self injurer. I understand your concern. I have no idea about child/therapist confidentiality, maybe someone else here does. I was wondering why you didn't tell your parents about it already? Are you afraid they will assume the same thing because of your past?

I am happy that you haven't hurt yourself in a long time. This is terrific. I know the urge is on you now but you can keep from doing it. I have been working hard to stop, I am up to 1 1/2 weeks, whoo hoo . Something that is helping me right now is to write about it. I have a thing called an emotion manager. I have divided a sheet of paper into a few columns: date/time, situation, what I think, what I feel, positive actions taken and result/comments. It has made a big difference over the last couple of weeks. I think what it does it it pulls me out of the feeling mode, into an analyzing mode which seperates me from the feelings enough that I can keep from acting out on them. Since you can't make the injuries on your wrists go away why not make sure that no other injuries appear that you have to feel guilty about? What are some things you have done in the past to keep from acting on the urge?
Carrie

<font color=green>But the implicit and usually unconscious bargain we make with ourselves is that, yes, we want to be healed, we want to be made whole, we're willing to go some distance, but we're not willing to question the fundamental assumptions upon which our way of life has been built, both personally and societally.--Bill Plotkin, Soulcraft