[bazzinga1990]

Seems to be getting out of hand thigh on my wrist and I make you arms. All I know what I was very angry with myself I tried to cry and I tried to write things down but it didn't work when that didn't work I resorted to cutting. I know this is serious and getting out of hand . Before the cut the scratch is now becoming deeper. I need to figure this out soon I feel so become very reckless driving. Oh and to top it off and me not even be in this wedding that I've been wanting to be in. The wedding is for my cousin and I'm the maid of honor and if I can't be in this I don't know what I will do. I know she'll understand if I can't but it's just that we work so hard on it. I may even have to be on disability now that I can't seem to work or drive or even eat on my own at times because I forget where I don't feel like it. I just hope and pray that we find a medication soon suitable for me because for sure not positive what I have exactly as far as what kind of depression we don't know.

Don't feel guilty over cutting, it is not your fault and you just want the pain to be released out of you, like a monster inside your skin trying to escape, you don't mean to hurt or injure yourself on purpose you just wanted some relief. Talking really helps, you are a special person even if you don't feel like it trust me. Take each day one step at a time.

[Frankbtl]

Hi bazzinga, I'd say that you should really give yourself credit for trying to avoid the cutting. And trying to write was a really good idea, it can be very helpful for some people. But of course it might not be so much help for others or if the urge is just too intense.........
You could still write down how you've been/are feeling though, it may help to express it/"get it out there". And you could use that in confronting what's going on with you, whether that's for yourself or by passing on what you've written to a professional.
But for now, let's say writing was first on your list to stop the SI/reduce the urges. Sometimes it can help if you do yourself a list of five, six.......things you are going to do/try before you SI. So if writing hadn't worked/the urges were getting stronger then straight onto the next thing on the list e.g. a walk (or whatever you want).
But as for the wedding, well that's just one day. What's much more important is you think about yourself right now, give yourself some understanding if you can't make it. It really is your feelings/well-being that have to come first. If you're not going to make it, it won't be by choice, it won't mean you're to blame. So give yourself a break on that one, hey?
Maybe instead (if you can't make it) focus on doing something nice for her first anniversary. Doesn't have to be big, just "nice". I know it can be a long/hard trek to finding the right medication but just try to hang in there and do everything you can. I know it must be really hard but we're here for you if you want to talk more...........
Alison

[bazzinga1990]

Originally Posted by DylanP

Don't feel guilty over cutting, it is not your fault and you just want the pain to be released out of you, like a monster inside your skin trying to escape, you don't mean to hurt or injure yourself on purpose you just wanted some relief. Talking really helps, you are a special person even if you don't feel like it trust me. Take each day one step at a time.

Yeah that's mainly why do it but you tell my parents that my brother that they wouldn't understand but you do you get the picture thank you

~warm hug from me to you~

[bazzinga1990]

Originally Posted by Frankbtl

Hi bazzinga, I'd say that you should really give yourself credit for trying to avoid the cutting. And trying to write was a really good idea, it can be very helpful for some people. But of course it might not be so much help for others or if the urge is just too intense.........
You could still write down how you've been/are feeling though, it may help to express it/"get it out there". And you could use that in confronting what's going on with you, whether that's for yourself or by passing on what you've written to a professional.
But for now, let's say writing was first on your list to stop the SI/reduce the urges. Sometimes it can help if you do yourself a list of five, six.......things you are going to do/try before you SI. So if writing hadn't worked/the urges were getting stronger then straight onto the next thing on the list e.g. a walk (or whatever you want).
But as for the wedding, well that's just one day. What's much more important is you think about yourself right now, give yourself some understanding if you can't make it. It really is your feelings/well-being that have to come first. If you're not going to make it, it won't be by choice, it won't mean you're to blame. So give yourself a break on that one, hey?
Maybe instead (if you can't make it) focus on doing something nice for her first anniversary. Doesn't have to be big, just "nice". I know it can be a long/hard trek to finding the right medication but just try to hang in there and do everything you can. I know it must be really hard but we're here for you if you want to talk more...........
Alison

thank you alison for party and such nice words. Si is never a nice thing and never a pretty thing it can also be scary so thank you for your wonderful words and telling me I'm a strong person for trying to avoid it because I'm the last person that things of myself as strong

~warm hug from me to you~