[bazzinga1990]

my mom said something that hurt me and made me feel guilty. and the other day my friends know i have depression and they didn't mean to hurt me but it did. one friend said when we were talking about depression she said im so glad my boyfriend is not sensitive to things and like oh my god i dont have good parents and i feel so sad, she said, i wouldn't know how to fix that and made it sound like a turn off if he was like that, like me in other words. and then my other friend which is her boyfriend said, "not to sound mean but, is your brothers girlfriend normal? like does she have problems with depression or ocd or anything?". I just didn't know what to say but as always i was good at going with it and pretending to be ok with what was said and the thoughts i was having thinking does this mean im not normal enough for people to want to be with me, to be in love with me, to love me for who i am inside and out besides my depression issues and other thing? im 23 and still dont have anyone i've tried before but before we started dating he asked me if i had any problems which made me think he might leave if i say yes so i lied and said no. i wasnt good enough for him and we split up on bad terms. I feel hopeless when it comes to a boyfriend. i feel alone and scared of what i might do to myself today or someday because of how much i hate myself and being me.

[Sam2]

When someone asks you a personal question that you are not comfortable with, you have ever right to say that you don't care to discuss it or it isn't their business. Friends are going to come and go throughout your life, and though losing one may seem like a major issue, in the longrun its not.

Depression is a hard thing to deal with. When it first starts, people want to help. Friends try to get you interested in other things and make you happy. Its not that simple though, and eventually, most people start to pull away. Your real friends are the ones that will stay with you even though you can't seem to pull yourself out of your depression. Depression makes most people uncomfortable. They don't know what to say. They are afraid of saying something wrong and setting you off. After a while, they want to go on with their own lives and not have to be reminded of bad feelings all the time.

That doesn't make depression your fault. It doesn't mean you are a bad person or incapable of being loved. That being said, its also not a time to try and get into a relationship. For someone to love you, you first have to be ok with yourself. You have more time than you think you do. Until you know what you want and can figure out why you feel so bad and correct it, its best not to get romantically involved with someone. Though some people can hang on in a relationship with someone who is depressed, more often than not, they start feeling helpless and wonder why they aren't enough to pull you out of it. They wind up leaving which just makes you feel worse.

If you don't have a therapist, you might want to get one. Its very difficult to analyze yourself honestly. Usually you wind up blaming yourself and finding all kinds of faults that are nothing more than normal mistakes. You need a healthy way to cope with your feelings. Cutting isn't going to solve anything. At most, it may give you very temporary relief from emotional stress. It doesn't last though. Until two years ago, I had been cutting and otherwise injuring myself for decades. All it does it make scars that you don't want later on. It seems to be more popular now than it was when I started. Its just another thing to feel bad about after the initial high.

Be yourself and don't worry about what other people think you should be or act like. You can't make everyone happy. All you wind up doing is making yourself feel inadequate. The people who care will stay.

Sam2

[bazzinga1990]

Originally Posted by Sam2

When someone asks you a personal question that you are not comfortable with, you have ever right to say that you don't care to discuss it or it isn't their business. Friends are going to come and go throughout your life, and though losing one may seem like a major issue, in the longrun its not.

Depression is a hard thing to deal with. When it first starts, people want to help. Friends try to get you interested in other things and make you happy. Its not that simple though, and eventually, most people start to pull away. Your real friends are the ones that will stay with you even though you can't seem to pull yourself out of your depression. Depression makes most people uncomfortable. They don't know what to say. They are afraid of saying something wrong and setting you off. After a while, they want to go on with their own lives and not have to be reminded of bad feelings all the time.

That doesn't make depression your fault. It doesn't mean you are a bad person or incapable of being loved. That being said, its also not a time to try and get into a relationship. For someone to love you, you first have to be ok with yourself. You have more time than you think you do. Until you know what you want and can figure out why you feel so bad and correct it, its best not to get romantically involved with someone. Though some people can hang on in a relationship with someone who is depressed, more often than not, they start feeling helpless and wonder why they aren't enough to pull you out of it. They wind up leaving which just makes you feel worse.

If you don't have a therapist, you might want to get one. Its very difficult to analyze yourself honestly. Usually you wind up blaming yourself and finding all kinds of faults that are nothing more than normal mistakes. You need a healthy way to cope with your feelings. Cutting isn't going to solve anything. At most, it may give you very temporary relief from emotional stress. It doesn't last though. Until two years ago, I had been cutting and otherwise injuring myself for decades. All it does it make scars that you don't want later on. It seems to be more popular now than it was when I started. Its just another thing to feel bad about after the initial high.

Be yourself and don't worry about what other people think you should be or act like. You can't make everyone happy. All you wind up doing is making yourself feel inadequate. The people who care will stay.

Sam2

Thanks so much I return not dto believe me

okay - let me try to touch this one..............

First - sorry that you are feeling so uncomfortable with parts of your life. Friend, boyfriends - those are pretty touchy areas. And I would guess that you have had (or will have) your share of crappy ones of each.

I also think you will find some great friends and I have no doubt you will find a guy who is completely wild about you.

I saw your pics and you are a very, VERY attractive person (no, I am not hitting on you). So you do not have to worry about that side of it. Now finding someone who will accept you for you.... just as you are - that is always the trick. But that is the trick if you have a mental illness or not.

I know my rambling does not "fix" anything. But please know that you are not alone in those feelings. You ARE okay. For real.....

[bazzinga1990]

Originally Posted by Useless Me

okay - let me try to touch this one..............

First - sorry that you are feeling so uncomfortable with parts of your life. Friend, boyfriends - those are pretty touchy areas. And I would guess that you have had (or will have) your share of crappy ones of each.

I also think you will find some great friends and I have no doubt you will find a guy who is completely wild about you.

I saw your pics and you are a very, VERY attractive person (no, I am not hitting on you). So you do not have to worry about that side of it. Now finding someone who will accept you for you.... just as you are - that is always the trick. But that is the trick if you have a mental illness or not.

I know my rambling does not "fix" anything. But please know that you are not alone in those feelings. You ARE okay. For real.....

Yhanks so much, makes me alittle better. I like habing friends like you guy on here would be awesome so day meet all of you in person and give you hugs :-)

Sent from my PTAB8000 using Tapatalk

trust me - I would like the hug more than you would....... (I am a very huggy person).

[bazzinga1990]

Originally Posted by Useless Me

trust me - I would like the hug more than you would....... (I am a very huggy person).

Me to. I was raised like that and I love how comferting they feel and I've been told I give super great hugs too. 😊

~warm hug from me to you~

[RTerroni]

Originally Posted by bazzinga1990

Me to. I was raised like that and I love how comferting they feel and I've been told I give super great hugs too. 😊

~warm hug from me to you~

I don't like to hug family members much (but they sometimes like to hug me) but I sometimes like hugging other people.

Originally Posted by bazzinga1990

Me to. I was raised like that and I love how comferting they feel and I've been told I give super great hugs too. 😊

~warm hug from me to you~

~Refuses to let go..................~

[bazzinga1990]

Originally Posted by Useless Me

~Refuses to let go..................~

Awwww ur sweet I love those hugs

~warm hug from me to you~

[SeekerOfLife]

The guy asked you if you had any problems??? I would run away from that guy. You want friends who love you just as you are, even with your depression. If someone is afraid to be your friend because of it, then they are not worthy of your friendship.

[Sam2]

It is harder to find someone when you have a mental or emotional illness. I think it is harder for a woman who is ill to find a guy than the other way around. Women seem to be more giving and tolerant than men, though that isn't across the board.

What can cause a problem is if both parties, be they straight or gay, have problems. Most mental and emotional illnesses turn you inward, and relationships are about giving. It can be done, but its harder.

Don't beat up on yourself. Would you do that if you had MS or some other physical problem? Its really not that different. Don't worry about what people you don't know think. If they aren't important to you, than their opinions shouldn't be either.

Sam2

[bazzinga1990]

Originally Posted by Sam2

It is harder to find someone when you have a mental or emotional illness. I think it is harder for a woman who is ill to find a guy than the other way around. Women seem to be more giving and tolerant than men, though that isn't across the board.

What can cause a problem is if both parties, be they straight or gay, have problems. Most mental and emotional illnesses turn you inward, and relationships are about giving. It can be done, but its harder.

Don't beat up on yourself. Would you do that if you had MS or some other physical problem? Its really not that different. Don't worry about what people you don't know think. If they aren't important to you, than their opinions shouldn't be either.

Sam2

You're so right about that I think that is the difference between men and women definitely and how we try our best so much to all motion the connector cells with them

~warm hug from me to you~