Should I?

I'm going to cut. Tonight. It makes sense why I'm so tense and feel so $#!% awful, and I know that will get rid of it so I can focus on my *@!$ essay.

I wish it didn't have to come to this, but since I already know I'm a bad coper with stuff and drink too much anyways, a little cut isn't going to do me any permanent harm. I hope. Just not allowed to do it again for a while at least.

Now I'm going to go get a drink and find something and just do it and get on with my life.

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Long story short, I'm not going to cut. (I wrote this about 2 hours ago)

But the thought that I was so close scares the crap out of me.That little nagging voice is getting louder and I don't know how much longer I can put up with it.

It just doesn't seem like it gets easier.

But I did change one thing. I'm quitting for MYSELF and not for anyone else. I don't want someone else to feel bad because I screw up, the only guilty person should be me. Period. I think anyways.

(((((((((Christina)))))))) No, it doesn't get easier. I'm proud of you for resisting, though.

Candy

(((((((((Christina)))))))))

It is a very hard thing to do ... but you are right in wanting to do this for yourself, not for anyone else. You are such a strong person ... it is obvious from your post, if you hadn't had this strength you would have cut in the first place, without writing that second part of your post. you CAN do this ... and you know that i'm here for you, always.

Jacq

How're you doing now?

I'm proud of you for resisting, much love to you ((((((((((((( Christina ))))))))))))))

Hello I hope everything is going better for you at this time. I think you made a very good decision in not cutting, and getting a very positive attitude that you willl stop cutting because you deserve better in your life, for your future. I am going to leave you a hotline number to call if you would like someone to talk to in person when you feel the urges 1-800-DONT-CUT and 1-800-273-TALK for mental health both hotlines are available for 24 hours. you do not have to be alone when you feel the urges you can call someone. Take care sincerely Soidhonia

Well done on resisting, it will give you added strength next time, you will know you've already got through urges once before and it will help you get through them again.

how are you now????????? xoxoxo pat

Thanks (((((((((((((((everyone)))))))))))))))))



I'm not going to cut Pat, but thats about all I can say right now unfortunately.

...still here and sending caring thoughts...

Thanks (((((((((sorrel))))))))))))))



Thanks ((((((((((((all))))))))))))

I just need a little less stress - but that isn't going to happen.

are you still at your parent's house?

What's the essay on? Maybe we can brainstorm and get you laughing from our ignorance if nothing else? Laughter is a great destressor and might make you feel a bit more warm and comfy to know we're "with" you while you work on the essay?

Or, we can trade stresses? :-) I'm retired so don't have many but I'm in school too and already worried about my next semester classes.

Pat - Thankfully not. I got out of there on the 2nd and am back in residence... now with the toxic personality roomate. I just can't seem to win here.

Perna - The essay is on a book by a Canadian author, Susanna Moodie. I just found out after being up all night finishing it that the prof is sick today, and that it isn't due for 5 more days now! I don't think I'd trade my stresses with anyone - hate being a pest.

Thanks ((((((((Hugs)))))))))))))))))

Wow, they sound like the Bronte kids to me http://www.collectionscanada.ca/canvers/t16-203-e.html

I had to write a paper about the Romantic movement in Europe this semester, but on a European composer or artist, not a writer.

Did you have to read Roughing It In The Bush? http://digital.library.upenn.edu/wom.../roughing.html

Thanks for mentioning her, she sounds interesting. I don't have any real Canadian ancestors, I do have one great great grandfather that was allegedly born in Canada (don't know where) but came to Michigan (Grand Rapids) as a boy.

I'm glad you got a bit of extra time. I'm in good shape in my course until the end of the month when my term paper is due (and I've only got a couple more pages to do on that) and final exam will happen. My worst stress will come when my two semesters overlap starting the second to last week of January; I'll be starting 2 classes and trying to complete the term paper and study for the final in this semester's. Ugh.