[melania]

Maybe this questin doesnt fit here, its really stupit too.

I cut my wrists because of t and my scars are ugly (i did it time ago and i regret it).
I feel shame when my workmates see it, i hide it but its hard because there are strict rules how i must look at my working place.
Everyone knows i was suicidal when they see my scars.
I wanted to make a tattoo to hide it (its not forbidden to work with a tattoo) and there it goes my stupid thoughts -
Thought i cut myself when i was desperete and wanted to die it reminds me somehow abiut the love that t and i had for each other, i mostly remember only good things, i see something good also at bad things.
I dont like and i like my scars at the same time.
Sometimes i think i want to start new life and make a tattoo but at the same time im afraid i would regret it and that i could feel that i eraced signs of the most beautiful time of my life.
Im doubting for two mounths.
What would you do if you had situation like me?
My problem is so stupid that noone can understand it. But im thinking all the time abiut it and dont want to make wrong choice
Sorry for bothering you.

[iheartjacques]

I really don't know what to say. My scars from cutting are on my stomach where no one can see them.

[growlycat]

Not stupid at all!!!!!
I'm sorry you were hurting enough to cut to begin with.

Are you still actively cutting? If so, maybe hold off on making any decision?
Have you explored laser surgery to minimize scarring?

Also, coworkers are unlikely to know what the scarring is about. Even if they did know, most decent people would have empathy for you. Lots of people have felt the same despair but used others ways to cope, but the feeling is shared by many.

Take care!!

I have scars on my wrist from a sui attempt myself. I know how you feel. I remember going to work the day after with the bandages on and getting so much hell. (People are just so supportive aren't they? )

In terms of tattoos it will depend on the exact position of the scars, my tattooist has told me that he won't tattoo closer than around an inch from the base of the hand due to the risk of blow out. (Tattoo blurring and unclear lines from the ink spreading.) I understand there are also issues with tattooing over scars, they don't take ink well or something.

I personally cover mine with (ironically) a depression awareness band. I'm guessing you can't wear jewellery? Or is it only certain types of jewellery, like loose/gaudy etc?

In terms of worrying about erasing your past with the tattoo you can always get something meaningfully related to that time. There are so many ideas out there I'm sure you could find something that means something to you.

It's good that you're putting so much thought into this. One should never rush into a tattoo.

Good luck.

If you're scared about forgetting how meaningful this has been to you, I also think you could actually make that feeling even stronger and benefit from having a chance to add something to it. To give it a new (maybe more positive) twist by getting a tattoo.

I think it depends a bit on how much it bothers you when people notice it. Is it you who thinks they'll react bad, or do you really experience bad reactions from them?
And keep in mind that if the tattoo would be related to this past, it can actually raise more questions you might have to deal with.

So it's good that you're taking your time to think about it.
I hope you'll find what's best for you.
I'm still thinking about getting a tattoo myself, but to cover up surgery scars. But then again, I'm not sure whether I want that. I start to like my scars actually. It feels a bit like 'I fought a battle, but I won!'

[Achy Turtle Armor]

I like my scars. It is difficult for me to hide mine because most are on my arms. I don't wear long sleeves much in FL.

I really have no idea what people think about them. I imagine after a while they just don't pay attention to them.

I have several tattoos so I like the idea but my concern is that you might get one that you regret later. If it could have nothing to do with your T, that would be best in my opinion.

I might just wait and see how much they fade first.

Sent from me.

[melania]

Originally Posted by growlycat

Not stupid at all!!!!!
I'm sorry you were hurting enough to cut to begin with.

Are you still actively cutting? If so, maybe hold off on making any decision?
Have you explored laser surgery to minimize scarring?

Also, coworkers are unlikely to know what the scarring is about. Even if they did know, most decent people would have empathy for you. Lots of people have felt the same despair but used others ways to cope, but the feeling is shared by many.

Take care!!

No im not cutting anymore and i hope i will never do it again. If i hade a tattoo there it would motivate me not to cut myself anymore. I cut one hand and other looks okay.
I dont want surgery because it would make me feel like i delete last years of my life and that im not myself anymore.

My coworkers know for sure i tried to commit a suicide and they asked me about it. At first i lied and said that i didnt do it but last week my coworksr told me - you can hide your scars with a tattoo and if it hurts when you make a tattoo say to your self- my foolishness is going away.
Another coworker tried to look at my hand thought i didnt let him and i think it was violation.

[melania]

Originally Posted by BeteNoire

I have scars on my wrist from a sui attempt myself. I know how you feel. I remember going to work the day after with the bandages on and getting so much hell. (People are just so supportive aren't they? )

In terms of tattoos it will depend on the exact position of the scars, my tattooist has told me that he won't tattoo closer than around an inch from the base of the hand due to the risk of blow out. (Tattoo blurring and unclear lines from the ink spreading.) I understand there are also issues with tattooing over scars, they don't take ink well or something.

I personally cover mine with (ironically) a depression awareness band. I'm guessing you can't wear jewellery? Or is it only certain types of jewellery, like loose/gaudy etc?

In terms of worrying about erasing your past with the tattoo you can always get something meaningfully related to that time. There are so many ideas out there I'm sure you could find something that means something to you.

It's good that you're putting so much thought into this. One should never rush into a tattoo.

Good luck.

I must not wear long sleeved tops but i did it and my boss told me thousand times i cant be dressed like this. I cant put on my hands anything even a clock...

Yes i also thought that maybe tattoo can be something that reminds me of my past in the place of scars.

I also worried that people wont like me because of tattoo but they say that tattoo cant change their feelings for me. I hope so.

[melania]

Originally Posted by Forwardinreverse

If you're scared about forgetting how meaningful this has been to you, I also think you could actually make that feeling even stronger and benefit from having a chance to add something to it. To give it a new (maybe more positive) twist by getting a tattoo.

I think it depends a bit on how much it bothers you when people notice it. Is it you who thinks they'll react bad, or do you really experience bad reactions from them?
And keep in mind that if the tattoo would be related to this past, it can actually raise more questions you might have to deal with.

So it's good that you're taking your time to think about it.
I hope you'll find what's best for you.
I'm still thinking about getting a tattoo myself, but to cover up surgery scars. But then again, I'm not sure whether I want that. I start to like my scars actually. It feels a bit like 'I fought a battle, but I won!'

One coworker even told me im sick and i have to go to psych ward when they want to hurt me they have perfect reason to do it - my scars.

My mother told me - its your life and your experience why should you hide it, dot you afraid you will regret your tattoo but if you had a tattoo there is no way back.

I like and dislike my scars. I dont know how to find the answer what i really want..

[AllyIsHopeful]

There are many products to help reduce scarring and lessen the appearance. I know it is hard. In the moment it gives a sense of relief but once the next day comes, the realization of having to hide it kicks in. A long time ago I'd have to wear long sleeves or a sweater in 100 degree weather just to hide the cuts and scars. I began cutting in areas that could not be seen and the scars have just barely faded away after years.

Since I had a couple of recent triggers and a bad medication reaction, I ended up self-harming again. Some of it is on my arm and I did not want my family to see and question, or to be looked at funny when I pay for something at the store. Sometimes I just wear a lot of bracelets and dress up but I can't do that everyday. If you are not able to wear jewelry or long sleeves to cover it, and you are unsure of a tattoo, have you considered an industrial strength concealer?

I know it is time consuming, but I use a concealer that was made specifically to cover tattoos (which is hard to do, so this concealer is serious business!). I put a thin layer of concealer over the scarring and a second layer after it has dried, if needed. After just set it with powder so it doesn't rub off and it has worked just fine. It's just some work to try and blend it in with your skin to look as natural as possible.

I'm sorry you are having regrets. I feel bad for you because I know this is hard to deal with and there's no choice. I hope you find a solution that works and makes you comfortable.

[Truck33]

I know someone like this and they used make-up to cover it up to see how concealing it would be .. And to decide if a tattoo would be better..

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[melania]

Originally Posted by AllyIsHopeful

There are many products to help reduce scarring and lessen the appearance. I know it is hard. In the moment it gives a sense of relief but once the next day comes, the realization of having to hide it kicks in. A long time ago I'd have to wear long sleeves or a sweater in 100 degree weather just to hide the cuts and scars. I began cutting in areas that could not be seen and the scars have just barely faded away after years.

Since I had a couple of recent triggers and a bad medication reaction, I ended up self-harming again. Some of it is on my arm and I did not want my family to see and question, or to be looked at funny when I pay for something at the store. Sometimes I just wear a lot of bracelets and dress up but I can't do that everyday. If you are not able to wear jewelry or long sleeves to cover it, and you are unsure of a tattoo, have you considered an industrial strength concealer?

I know it is time consuming, but I use a concealer that was made specifically to cover tattoos (which is hard to do, so this concealer is serious business!). I put a thin layer of concealer over the scarring and a second layer after it has dried, if needed. After just set it with powder so it doesn't rub off and it has worked just fine. It's just some work to try and blend it in with your skin to look as natural as possible.

I'm sorry you are having regrets. I feel bad for you because I know this is hard to deal with and there's no choice. I hope you find a solution that works and makes you comfortable.

I cant wear long sleeves or put anything on my hands because my boss think that i can infect other patients because i cant wash my sleeves after contact with patient.
I work at hospital where people are in coma at often die and they have infections very often.
Tattoo is on my skin so i can wash it.
I have strict rules at my job only because of infections.

[melania]

By the way thanj you all
I didnt hope you would tell me so much and so useful things, im glad you did

[anilam]

Well, if they are only a year old there's still some hope of them diminishing/even disappearing if you didn't cut too deep.
Re the "care" for scarring- they can make your scars white and help with hypertrophic scarring but that just about it, you are still left with scars (speaking about real scars here).

Trigger warning for SUI (hope I wasn't too graphic:/)

Several yrs ago I tried to commint suicide- did a great job on one hand but cut too deep and severely damaged my hand dexterity so the other hand was a nightmare (several scars). I hated those scars, felt really self conscious about them so yeah, after several treatments (I even let a plastic surgeon cut out a chunk of my skin to get rid of some of them- not stg I'd recommend) I decided to cover it with tattoos- and till today I'm very, very glad I did that. I hated those pitying looks/comments from strangers...

If you do decide for tats, make sure you pick a good artist (you do need to be careful with scars), design to cover them (they still be there, just painted over- needs to be work into the design) and a thing you can live it forever- removal's painful, costly and you'd be still left with your scars...

Side note: your coworker's comment about pain transforming you into a better self (i.e. the "foolishness leaving you") is a ton of

[melania]

Originally Posted by anilam

Well, if they are only a year old there's still some hope of them diminishing/even disappearing if you didn't cut too deep.
Re the "care" for scarring- they can make your scars white and help with hypertrophic scarring but that just about it, you are still left with scars (speaking about real scars here).

Trigger warning for SUI (hope I wasn't too graphic:/)

Several yrs ago I tried to commint suicide- did a great job on one hand but cut too deep and severely damaged my hand dexterity so the other hand was a nightmare (several scars). I hated those scars, felt really self conscious about them so yeah, after several treatments (I even let a plastic surgeon cut out a chunk of my skin to get rid of some of them- not stg I'd recommend) I decided to cover it with tattoos- and till today I'm very, very glad I did that. I hated those pitying looks/comments from strangers...

If you do decide for tats, make sure you pick a good artist (you do need to be careful with scars), design to cover them (they still be there, just painted over- needs to be work into the design) and a thing you can live it forever- removal's painful, costly and you'd be still left with your scars...

Side note: your coworker's comment about pain transforming you into a better self (i.e. the "foolishness leaving you") is a ton of

I also have several cuts, i cut myself for 4 years and some of cuts are really deep. Some of them are white for now but visible because it was deep cuts...

I just dont want to delete my past but yes its true what you said- scars are still there just covered with painting. I know its weird but past means so much for me even if it was painful thats why i like these scars, its part of period of my life. But when my t reminds me my suicide attemp because of him saying that i did it because we crossed the line i hate my scars because i think that maybe if i werent cut myself we still would be together.

[ScrewedUpMe]

It's a really difficult one to decide. I also have many scars on my arms, mostly white/silvery colour now but very obvious what they are. I used to cover up all the time and wear long sleeves in summer incase anyone asked. I don't do that anymore. I think most people that realise what it is won't ask and anyone that asks is probably being intrusive and I will just brush it off with an obvious excuse and they won't ask again. I also have tattoos, but as someone else said, they always start one inch below your wrist. I love my tattoos (they are my children's names) and I know I would never cut them. I hope you can decide what you want to do. Don't rush into a tattoo, maybe when you're not at work, you could try henna tattoos in that area and see how you feel about having something there? Good luck

[melania]

Originally Posted by ScrewedUpMe

It's a really difficult one to decide. I also have many scars on my arms, mostly white/silvery colour now but very obvious what they are. I used to cover up all the time and wear long sleeves in summer incase anyone asked. I don't do that anymore. I think most people that realise what it is won't ask and anyone that asks is probably being intrusive and I will just brush it off with an obvious excuse and they won't ask again. I also have tattoos, but as someone else said, they always start one inch below your wrist. I love my tattoos (they are my children's names) and I know I would never cut them. I hope you can decide what you want to do. Don't rush into a tattoo, maybe when you're not at work, you could try henna tattoos in that area and see how you feel about having something there? Good luck

I had henna tattoo but it faded from the scars after two days and my hand looked just more ugly...

[melania]

I forgot to say - i hide my scars from sister too because i feel shame and i hurted her so much when i tried to kill myself by overdose of pills.

[HazelGirl]

This is recently, correct?

I would say to wait a little longer because they might still be healing, and if they change at all, it could change and mess up whatever tattoo you might get there.

[Perna]

There are rarely just two choices. Two choices are not a choice but an on/off switch? I would find something outside those thoughts. Maybe I would wear the scars openly and talk a little about them if I saw someone staring, about how sad I was then and about how I regret my decision at that time. I would talk about how the scars are like tattoos one wishes later in life one had not gotten, the automatic judgment by other people. I would maybe try to use my scars to help educate people about suicide and about judging others.

[melania]

Originally Posted by HazelGirl

This is recently, correct?

I would say to wait a little longer because they might still be healing, and if they change at all, it could change and mess up whatever tattoo you might get there.

Maybe i misunderstood your question and what you meant by 'recently' but if you mean how old is my scars - i cut 4 years ago at first time and it was deep cuts and my last cut i did in the end of march in this year abd also deep.
Scars which wasnt deep faded but deep cuts stayed white but visible.

[HazelGirl]

Originally Posted by melania

Maybe i misunderstood your question and what you meant by 'recently' but if you mean how old is my scars - i cut 4 years ago at first time and it was deep cuts and my last cut i did in the end of march in this year abd also deep.
Scars which wasnt deep faded but deep cuts stayed white bad visible.

Yeah, I meant the March ones. It's possible they might still change. And if they do, it could possibly mess with whatever tattoo you choose to get there. I can't see them, so I don't know that for sure (I thought it was more recent than that, like the beginning of May), but it's possible.

[melania]

Originally Posted by Perna

There are rarely just two choices. Two choices are not a choice but an on/off switch? I would find something outside those thoughts. Maybe I would wear the scars openly and talk a little about them if I saw someone staring, about how sad I was then and about how I regret my decision at that time. I would talk about how the scars are like tattoos one wishes later in life one had not gotten, the automatic judgment by other people. I would maybe try to use my scars to help educate people about suicide and about judging others.

Many of my patients did suicide attempts (im nurse) so my workmates have bad opinion about suicidal people. They often say that they are sick and miserable and idiots.

[GenCat]

Originally Posted by melania

Many of my patients did suicide attempts (im nurse) so my workmates have bad opinion about suicidal people. They often say that they are sick and miserable and idiots.

In my opinion, people who have never struggled with suicide or self harm can not and have no right to judge those who have. Simply becuase they themselves have never been there and have not felt those feelings. Sure they know medically all about it, but they don't know really how it feels to be a prisoner to those feelings.

So don't listen to your coworkers. And if they say something mean to you, tell them its part of me and who I was. If you don't approve then you don't approve of me.

[ScrewedUpMe]

Originally Posted by melania

Many of my patients did suicide attempts (im nurse) so my workmates have bad opinion about suicidal people. They often say that they are sick and miserable and idiots.

Wow, that's terrible. I would have thought people working in those types of professions would be more understanding of the people they are trying to treat, having seen them struggle and suffer. It's a shame they are so judgmental.