[SheHulk07]

I mentioned this to my therapist this week that in the past week or 2, I'm starting to feel more outwardly aggressive than turning it inward.

For me, I still want to hurt myself, but there's no proof if I hit a wall or whatever.

I ended up cutting my wrist yesterday afternoon, and just had the urge to keep doing it until it was bad enough for stitches. Didn't get that far thankfully, but I haven't felt that urge that strongly for a while now.

However, last night I became very frustrated and just couldn't get the thought of punching our fish/frog tank to shatter it. This is very out of the ordinary for me, and I'm not sure what's going on.

[Wysteria]

Dear Amy,

There is probably a good reason that you are looking for an outward expression of your anger/frustration/fear/etc...or maybe just put the blame where it belongs... I don't know.

I have been told to hit pillows, yell, take a play bat to the mattresses, and many other things...

It may sound strange, but the ones that worked best for me were to write/cuss/scribble/express dark thoughts with a marker on different pages of an old phone book....and then I got to rip it up however I wanted to and make a big mess.

The other one was to get a bag of ice at the store and go to the back of some store or big brick wall and just throw the ice at it until my shoulder ached and the build up inside was gone. You see the ice break, hear it break, feel the cold in your hand, see the explosion of ice in the sunlight....somehow worked really well and only cost a buck (and some Advil later...lol)

Maybe it's time to safely let it out?

Wysteria Blue