[troubledteen19]

I don't know why but I'm so triggered right now. I'm just so angry at myself for not being perfect, or not trying hard enough to be. But what do I do when I hate every fibre of my being? And here I am again, going on about myself. It's always me me me. Just, ughhh. I want to feel that feeling of ripping my skin open, again. I deserve the pain. I need it. I want it?

[Travelinglady]

Hi, troubledteen19! I used to think I had to try to be perfect, too, but then I realized my mom was really being too hard on me and that no one is perfect. I have learned to like myself as I am, warts and all.

I found therapy helped me a lot in this process.

Be good to yourself and don't hurt yourself. Okay?

[CANDC]

sometimes we embody the abusive attitudes we are surrounded with as we grow up. It is not your fault. It is the conditioning of the world around us.
I used to put a sign up on the wall

WHAT DID I DO RIGHT?

It was the only way to distract me from self deprecating comments.
Self harm only widens the gap and increases the self loathing.
What about finding some project to help other people? Just helping a neighbor with some yard work can be a way to improve our self esteem. I don't feel you deserve the pain or need it. I feel you deserve much more than that.
A poet said release the hidden splendor inside. I am trying to find a way to let it out whenever I can, every day in a small way.