[Timeforhelp]

So I have an appt. with my therapist today and I am really nervous. She said all the cards would be off the table. I really want to self Harm but I know that will only add to the fire. I am extremely Depressed and I can not shake it. I've been taking my medications like I am suppose to and I've done every coping skill under the book. I just do not care anymore. It's hard for me to focus and I feel like things just do not matter. I love my family and do not want to hurt them, but the pain over weighs everything. I feel if I go inpatient again my family will disown me and I can not take anymore loss. The next logical step is to just give up. Yeah they will hurt now but I am hurting them now by putting them through all this mental and Financial Stress. weighing the pros and cons are not really going in the right direction. Well Thank you for listening.

Tired and Hurting
Timeforhelp

[Blue_Bird]

Hi Timeforhelp, just be honest with her. Also, I hope your family would understand if you need to go inpatient, as I'm sure they'd much rather see that than you struggling or hurting yourself

Originally Posted by Timeforhelp

So I have an appt. with my therapist today and I am really nervous. She said all the cards would be off the table. I really want to self Harm but I know that will only add to the fire. I am extremely Depressed and I can not shake it. I've been taking my medications like I am suppose to and I've done every coping skill under the book. I just do not care anymore. It's hard for me to focus and I feel like things just do not matter. I love my family and do not want to hurt them, but the pain over weighs everything. I feel if I go inpatient again my family will disown me and I can not take anymore loss. The next logical step is to just give up. Yeah they will hurt now but I am hurting them now by putting them through all this mental and Financial Stress. weighing the pros and cons are not really going in the right direction. Well Thank you for listening.

Tired and Hurting
Timeforhelp

Hello Timeforhelp: You know, one of the symptoms of depression is catastrophic thinking... "all-or-nothing"... painting yourself into a corner so there is no place to go. It sounds to me as though this is where you are at, presently. Perhaps, although you're taking your med's as prescribed, the med's you're taking aren't working for you... or have stopped working. Maybe it's time to take another look at them.

I understand what you're saying about not being able to focus, feeling like nothing matters & not wanting to hurt your family any more. These too are all classic symptoms of depression. And, believe me, no matter how much you may be hurting your family now, they'd hurt allot worse & for a much longer period of time if they were to lose you. So please talk candidly with your T about how you're feeling. And perhaps consider seeing your prescribing physician with regard to your med's. If you cannot do this on your own, confide in a trusted family member or friend & ask them to come with you to your appointments. It can get better... & it starts with you...